Czovczov Funny Status Messages

   He who is humble is not stressed by the superiority complex of fools around him.

   Not now kids. I'm managing my online empire.

   If you love someone, keep drinking

   Today is the sixth of September, also known as 6/9. A calendar somewhere must be having fun right now.

   Unless your kids fundraiser is selling whisley, I'm not really interested

   69… you get what you give!

   Feels like I spooned an aggressive hedgehog last night.

   With great power comes great difficulty in factorizing the polynomial.

   I am terribly sorry about the inspirational p osts. My dealer gave me inspirational weed.

   I hate when boxing announcers say a boxer is "down for the count." I don't care that he loves Dracula I just want to know who's winning.

   If you are not at the table, you are probably on the menu.

   You never really expect to meet your soulmate in a strip club.

   Whenever I'm sad, I remember that my cats most likely think I’m out hunting for them all day, and then I feel like a badass again

   Fun ways to hurt yourself: 1. Throwing yourself down stairs, 2. Punching yourself in the face, 3. Talking to your ex.

   I was violently beating this guy with a club when I realized, "I can find a better weapon than this stupid poker card"

   On a scale of 1 to "Get out you're fired" where does napping at work rank?

   Girl stop spilling your crazy all over me!

   Somebody stop the INTERNET, I want to get off!

   Not to brag, but I'm totally going to be the first one shot in any kind of hostage situation.

   I came, I saw, I got jiggy with it, I'm now discussing my options with a court appointed attorney.