BEGO Funny Status Messages

   I wish I had Kim Kardashian's talent of not having any talent and making money out of it.

   I demand a “That's what she said” button be added to Facebook

   It's not officially summer until you start forgetting what day of the week it is.

   I'm not needy. I'm wanty

   The problem with some people is that they’re alive.

   She is so ugly, how does she have a boyfriend? Maybe she has an amazing personality and her boyfriend isnt a judgemental cu$t like you..

   There's no need to rush. If something's meant to be, it'll happen in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason.

   I will rip my teeth out removing a price tag off a new shirt before I look for scissors.

   Surprise sex is the best sex. Unless you're in prison.

   Dont forget to pay your taxes this year so the Government can give it to people that dont work as hard as you...

   Today, my mother commented "loser" on my Facebook profile picture. She got 41 likes.

   Sometimes, we waste too much time to think about someone who doesn't even think about us for a second.

   Just once in my life I'd like to see a liars pants actually catch on damn fire...

   I'd like Facebook to suggest: Since you've just de-friended that loser, how about you get rid of some more  deadweight, like ……

   Two types of people that annoy me: Drunk people when I'm sober. Sober people when I'm drunk.

   I just saw a baby wearing a shirt saying: "Santa doesn't exist, but that's ok, cause I can't read."

   I secretly like days when none of my facebook friends have birthdays.

   Teacher asks: What is the difference between a prostitute, a girlfriend and a wife.Student replies: Prepaid, post paid and unlimited plan.

   I solve many of my problems by simply ignoring them

   I once took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name