Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
←Rate | 10-10-2010 06:03 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that.
←Rate | 10-10-2010 06:04 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Been there. Done that. Bought the T-shirt. Sold it on EBay. Made a tidy little profit.
←Rate | 10-10-2010 12:20 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon This day is going so well..ill give it 10/10/10!
←Rate | 10-10-2010 12:38 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's no coincidence the people who call the cops when parties get loud are the people who never get invited to parties.
←Rate | 10-12-2010 13:47 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon At a recent job interview: What would you consider to be your main weaknesses and strengths? Well my main weakness would be my issues with reality, telling what's real from what's not.And your strengths? I'm Batman.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 13:27 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon We childproofed our homes but they are still getting in.
←Rate | 10-17-2010 11:59 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh sh*t, my computer uses U.S. English. I wanted to 'save' the document but accidentally blew it up.
←Rate | 10-17-2010 12:17 by lemonpillow Comments (1)  


   messageicon "Find your ideal partner on Facebook!" No thanks, I can safely say that one quality I am not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm.
←Rate | 10-19-2010 14:17 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Imagine how much fun women in burkas must have tagging each other on Facebook.
←Rate | 10-20-2010 12:07 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry about what other people think because they rarely ever do.
←Rate | 10-20-2010 15:14 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Always smile in the morning. It will make people wonder what you did the night before.
←Rate | 10-21-2010 14:37 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 12:06 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon God created man before woman... but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 12:08 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boss questioned my enthusiasm today. I can't believe he woke me up just to tell me that.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 12:11 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon You always get what you pay for. Nothing proves this more than toliet paper.
←Rate | 10-27-2010 13:45 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon This girl came up to me today and said she recognised me from vegetarian club.I was confused, I'd never met herbivore.
←Rate | 10-27-2010 13:51 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Halloween, I'll be handing out those little tiny candy bars. I think they're called bite-me sized.
←Rate | 10-31-2010 05:29 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...warns you this Halloween to beware of strangers bearing strange tools like chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, and band saws.
←Rate | 10-31-2010 06:30 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon forgot to buy candy for the kids this Halloween but will offer them a bite of her sandwich.
←Rate | 10-31-2010 06:34 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  




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