Aaron Funny Status Messages

   My computer asks "Delete cookies?" Cookie Monster pounds on my door, shouting, "NOOOO! KEEP COOKIES!"

   I don't eat nuts at the bar. But I like to run my fingers through them and lick the salt off.

   A dog running a hundred miles to retrieve a stick? That's pretty far-fetched.

   I'm a whole new breed of special.

   "I bet if he could do that, he wouldn't be telling me to stop."... thought the Dog.

   Frogger taught me the importance of looking both ways before hopping across the road.

   A lost and found but for airplanes.

   i check every shaving cream can for dinosaur embryos.

   I keep it real like a bad magician.

   Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?

   GET TO THE CHOPPER!!

   I want to make a font joke, but I'm just not bold enough.

   Wanna help me test out my new guillotine? I'll do all the hard work, you can just lie there...

   I bet two thousand years ago, people were pretty psyched for 11

   I need ten well behaved cats and ten cat sized business suits.

   I'm up to no good with good intentions.

   Sometimes you just have to let the anger guide you.

   Christmas. It's been a long 2 1/2 months.

   On the Electrician's Truck... "Let Us Remove Your Shorts"

   I raised an eyebrow once. He's an adult now, and he never calls or visits.