bego Funny Status Messages
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Basically the whole point of Facebook is so you can see if you’re prettier than your ex’s new girlfriend.
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08-30-2013 23:09 by BEGO
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The amount of paper towel I use to squash and discard a bug is directly related to whether or not I know what kind of bug it is
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07-13-2011 21:10 by BEGO
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I'm giving up on the silent treatment. Going to start talking to myself again.
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06-06-2011 21:29 by BEGO
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Microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
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05-05-2012 22:48 by BEGO
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Did we give a Nobel Prize to the guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon?
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05-25-2012 21:56 by BEGO
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The reason we give kids middle names is so they can tell when they're really in trouble.
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04-15-2012 22:06 by BEGO
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They need to make an app that shows you what your name is saved as in other people's phone.
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12-07-2011 20:19 by BEGO
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If I don't get enough sleep, I'm tired. If I get too much, I'm tired. And even if I get the right amount, I still need three pots of coffee.
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12-17-2012 21:34 by BEGO
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Dear coworkers, please understand that my headphones on are the international sign for "leave me the hell alone."
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04-12-2013 21:26 by BEGO
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when you're in the shower, and you hear loud thumps and you think "they're killing my family, and I'll have to fight the attacker naked.."
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10-19-2012 21:24 by BEGO
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Let love come to you, be patient. In fairy tales they don't find each other until the last page :)
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07-07-2010 21:46 by BEGO
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PROFILE PICTURES: What people want other people to think they look like. TAGGED PICTURES: What they actually look like.
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01-27-2012 22:24 by BEGO
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When life gives you a Grenade, pull the pin and toss it to your EX..
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04-19-2011 21:58 by BEGO
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You know why there are no wal-marts in Afghanistan? Cause theres a Target in every corner...
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05-12-2011 23:07 by BEGO
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Whoever put "Too Cool to Do Drugs" on a pencil is retarded. Every time you sharpen it: "Cool to Do Drugs" "Do Drugs" and "Drugs"
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09-11-2012 21:27 by BEGO
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Never chase love, affection, or attention. If it isn't given freely by another person, it isn't worth having
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04-20-2012 21:28 by BEGO
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wondering what the weather's like in India. I think i'll call AT&T.
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10-20-2010 23:51 by BEGO
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No Girlfriend November was a success, now for Don't Date December, Just Me January, Forever Alone February, No Match March..... I got this.
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12-09-2012 21:06 by BEGO
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Don't judge me until you know me. Don't underestimate me until you challenge me. And don't talk about me until you talk to me
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03-04-2012 22:18 by BEGO
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Love is not about how much you say "I love you", but how much you can prove that it's true.
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07-31-2011 23:11 by BEGO
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