tsparks Funny Status Messages

   it's the people who make a party awesome, not the drinks,bro

   Does your a** ever get jealous of the big amount of sh*t that comes out of your mouth??

   hi say 2 wanted just I that out find you when irritating very it find may you... CONFUSED?? Now read it backwards..

   Dear Mom & Dad, when you said- "Let`s go", I assumed you were ready to go also. Sincerely, Been waiting in the car for 20 minutes

   that sad moment when you return to your ordinary life after watching a awesome movie :(

   Women may not hit harder.....but they can hit lower

   The first 10 years of a girl's life is spent playing with barbies & the next 10 years are spent trying to look like one

   Boy: "Are those space pants? Cause your a** is outta this world" Girl: "No, they are softball pants, & this a** is outta your league

   FACEBOOK" The second most popular word that starts with “F” and ends with “K”...

   I will be running in a 0.25 mile run in support of people with attention deficit disorder (aka Kardashin Dash)

   anyone gonna tell Americas Funniest Videos that theres youtube?

   You can wake someone who is sleeping but you can't wake up someone pretending to sleep.

   throwing fertilizer at people who need to grow up

   This post is so good you will read it twice, this post is so good you just read it twice.

   Apple was considering making an iPod for kids but apparently, the name 'iTouch Kids' didn't sit too well

   I don't think I could ever stab someone, I mean lets be honest I can barely get the straw in a Capri Sun

   "Babe, is it in?" "Yeah" "Is it hurting?" "Mmhmm" "Let me try to put it in slowly" "Ouch,it still hurts!" "Ok, let's try another shoe size...