tracy Funny Status Messages

   Sorry, constantly quoting random bible scriptures isnt going to convince me. I could quote one the Twilight books and be just as profound. Twilight Eclipse, Chapter one verse three, "The."

   Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room there?

   I say we should build a Multi-religion facility to appease all religions near the 9/11 site.

   I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

   David Hasselhoff's liver is soo shriveled, black and dead, if you put your ear to the side of it, you can hear it going: ‘What you talkin' about Willis?"

   Former President Bush suggested invading the "Gulf of Mexico" to control the BP oil spill. He also proposed forming a mercenary force made up of BP executives and oil rig operators called "The Coalition of the Spillin'

   Yeah, let me get this right, a guy name Samson gets his super strength from his hair? Is this what rational people actually believe? Sounds like a bad hollywood movie idea with Michael Bay production values.

   You are so pathetic that Tom wont even be friends with you on myspace.

   Yes, "facebooking" IS an action verb. Along with googling, tweeting and farmvillin'.