timboss Funny Status Messages

   I just got out of bed and decided I'd trim that annoying hair on my eyebrow that kept getting in my eye last night... Now I have half an eyebrow

   I hope my CEO doesn't come here as the Undercover Boss cause I'd be like, "Ahh, don't worry about that mess. It'll be there tomorrow... BREAK TIME!"

   Dear History Channel, The Mayans were wrong.. We are not dead.. Everybody is still here. Please adjust your morning programing accordingly..

   needs some comfort food.. Oh wait! I ate it already.. :-/

   Can you imagine how different the story would have been if Fritz hadn't dropped the "normal" brain?

   When going out for sea food, I always order shark steak. Not because I like it.. but to show THEM who is really on top of the food chain.

   I just went to that God wants you to know app.. It said, "Nothing" :-/

   I hate when I'm scrolling through Facebook the first thing in the morning and accidentally run up on the three headed baby.. Eww