l Funny Status Messages

   Happy Halloweenkend!!

   I'll never delete another email again. Just Twitter.

   thats weird?! all my mom wanted was cool whip for mothers day.

   "Women are made to be loved, not understood."

   I ain't talking about Floyd when I say I love May weather.

   remember the police are sort of like dogs, they usually don't chase you unless you run.

   Why is the dollar drink @ Mc D's smaller than the dollar Sweet Tea?? I jus dump that sh*t out n refill it wit Hi-C.

   In order to make change in your life you have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired

   Sick of girls saying all guys are the same we aren't they just always go for the same kinda guy.......

   God never gives you anything you can't handle and apparently he thinks I can handle a hell of alot.

   I love people that go to the beach w. a t shirt over their bathing suit, I think that draws more attention to whatever ur trying to hide

   loves picking his nephew up from Preschool cause the single mothers are usually late and so am I :D

   If you have a problem with me, text me. If you don't have my number than that means you don't know me well enough to have a problem with me

   Excuse me Mr Zimmerman I know this isn't the right time but umm.. Who is that chick that sits behind you to the left?!!

   hates when I wake up late for work and get ready in a hurry, then you realize its your day off. : (

   you better like this status or I'll post a old picture of you and really get some laughs

   Adam Sandler looks like Don Flamingo from Mike Tysons Punchout.

   I dont know wheather to rake or shovel...

   sleeping on the bottom bunk when I was younger wasn't easy.....Its hard to sleep with a raincoat on.

   girls know everything except when a guy likes them..