YODA Funny Status Messages

   To drink or not to drink!? What a stupid question!

   "Reverse cowgirl"… So you don't have to experience morning breath

   I told Santa what I wanted for Christmas, now I'm on the naughty list

   Did anyone tell the Broncos what time the game started?

   Apparently, California has the highest rate of Adultery and Depression. It's a sad State of affairs....

   I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drinking enthusiast!

   It's hard to be intimidating when your boots keep making fart sounds when you walk...

   If you keep a foot in the past and a foot in the future, you're gonna piss on the present...

   breaking up is hard to do... unless of course you're mad and there's a vase nearby....

   At least my computer goes down on me

   Today I identify as someone on welfare, so I don't have to go to work right?

   I bet the man who discovered milk felt awkward when he had to explain why he was doing that to a cow in the first place...

   If you’re going to walk on thin ice, you may as well dance....

   my husband says I have multiple personalities... well 4 can play that game...

   Ya know... statisically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't Happy...

   Just saw a "for lease" sign, I painted "navidad" under it ...

   My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance

   a hangover is the wrath of grapes

   I fell on the floor last night... good thing the 5 second rule didn't apply

   There are givers and takers in this world... Takers eat better, givers sleep better