Smeebert Funny Status Messages

   If I were a midget I would so score candy on Halloween

   Do forget to set your scale back 10lbs this next week

   my kids enjoy the free cardboard box and balloons the most

   We had it all Just like Bogie and Bacall Sailing away to Key Largo Here's lookin' at you kid RIP

   you know you gave up on life when you eat your breakfast, lunch and dinner from a "bacon bowl"

   Dreamt I was forced to eat my way out of a ginger bread house

   What good is one phone call in jail if they won't let me use my cell to find the number, no one remembers phone numbers these days!

   We are building a fence and I'm gonna make my neighbors pay for it.

   for once I'd like to see "Its been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"

   Thank you hot syrupy flavor, every morning I wake to savor, I drink you with one eye sleepy that fact I can rhyme this early is kinda creepy

   Watching this NBA game makes me miss the great Larry Bird days, now its all showboating and apparently there is an "I" in team.

   whoever dies with the most friends on facebook wins

   making Holy Water by boiling the Hell out of it.

   I just watched the "Notebook" & "Rudy" ...NO I didn't cry! but I want to go out for an ice cream now

   Met my new gf, a spark came between us…..WOW those taser guns are well worth the money!

   a certain sign of who will wear the pants suit in your marriage is when the wedding reception has a Vegan menu and a gluten-free cake!

   finding the Christmas spirit, now if only I can find someone who is in the giving mood to pay

   everyone is crazy but me and you and I'm beginning to wonder a little bit about you

   Brees created quite the Hurricane in New Orleans tonight

   if I wanted patience I would have been a doctor!