Reznor Funny Status Messages

   I've got the moves like jagger! Just kidding, I dance like a retarded penguin.

   I wish Google could tell me where my T.V. remote is right now.

   All I can say is Thank You Sandy for giving me a break from the Election!

   Whoever said money doesn't grow on trees obviously never grew marijuana...

   "Thank god that day is over"-- Chikens

   Just put pop rocks in the kitty litter!

   I told the monster in my closet that if he came out of the closet he would be gay. Problem solved! #Winning

   When I go to Subway and a guy makes my sandwhich, it just doesnt taste the same...

   Seeing the physique of the male swimmers in the relay today made me wanna do something. So I sat up, ate ice cream, and cried myself to sleep...

   Im starting to worry that my Guardian Angel is a crack head!

   Lets elect a black pope! Said no Catholic ever.....

   One of the best feelings in the world is when you hug someone you love and they pepper spray you.

   Ive been to the good side. The cookies were stale.

   My wife and my girlfriend both said on their status that they are going to go live in Brazil for a few months. Is there something I should know about???????

   I swear girls can be so ungrateful sometimes, I made her breakfast in bed, and instead of saying "Thank you", she's all like... "How the hell did you get into my house?!?!"

   Ghetto word of the day: Detest. Usage: That ho be trippin. I aint her baby daddy! I gotta go take detest on Maury!

   I wish I could of been locked up in a basement for 10 years. I could of missed Jersey Shore and that whole Bieber Fever thing!!

   I just booked my Spring Break vacation in North Korea! I can't believe the cheap deal I got!!

   These bathsalts sure do make me feel funny.....

   Roses are red. Rotting flesh is green. When the dead start to rise, I want you on my team!!!!