Dopey420 Funny Status Messages

   What's the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.

   I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

   ˙ǝןƃuɐ ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp ɐ ɯoɹɟ pןɹoʍ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooן ɐ ƃuıʞɐʇ sı

   Thinks people get mad when you don't use korrect grammar and spelin, because they can't just copy/paste it to thier Facebook. Sorry you had to add a comma, it must be such an inconvenience.

   Can't we all just get abong?

   If a mime shoots you, must he use a silencer?

   girls should stick to girl's sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

   What's green and smells like pork? Kermit the frog's finger.

   Little Johnny wrote to Santa, "I want a baby brother for christmas." Santa wrote back' "Send me your Mother. '

   What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side!

   I think Martin Lawrence should just come out of the closet and admit he's a crossdresser already.

   Jack and Jill went up the hill, both with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with two fifty, go figure.

   Yesterday I told my girlfriend to come over because no one is home. I don't know why she was so mad when she arrived to my empty house. I said "no one".

   Maybe if tmobile spent less time on attack commercials, and more time creating phones, and providing a good signal their company would suck a little less. iPhone is still the best!

   I'm so sick of hearing about the rapture... Shut up already, if it happens we'll have all eternity to talk about it in he'll.

   I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, I wanna sleep with her, men don't think like that. We think I wanna screw her! No sleep involved

   When someone says to me "hi how are you" I say "high how are you" and they never seem to get it.

   34 days till steak and rh day! :D

   What's 69+69? Dinner for four.

   A cop pulls over a guy. He says "Sir your eyes are alittle glazed, have you been drinking?" The man replies "Gee officer your eyes look alittle glazed too, have you been eating doughnuts?"