BEGO Funny Status Messages

   Everyone has that friend that needs to stop bumming and buy their own pack of cigarettes.

   Based on the number of smoke breaks they take, I’m pretty sure the only reason my co-workers have a job is to pay for their cigarettes.

   Women are like iPhones. You have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberries, rub one ball and everything moves.

   You know a girl just broke up with her boyfriend when she starts putting a million quotes on Facebook.

   If all men are the same, why do women take so long to choose one ?

   I hate it when someone I don't like says something funny.

   Oh look, it's raining outside. I think I'll go on Facebook and update all my friends that don't have a window of their own.

   i hate when its dark and your brain is all "you know what we havent thought about in a while...demons."

   A lie everyone tells = “Hey! I just got your text!”

   I hate when I buy a bag of air and there's chips in it.

   At my age, Friends with Insurance Benefits sounds just as appealing.

   anyone going to tell America's Funniest Home Videos about youtube?

   Did you guys know that turning up the radio fixes almost all your car problems?! Crazy.

   I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

   8 year old kids today have Facebook, twitter, phones, iPod. When I was there age, I had a coloring book, crayons, chalk, and imagination.

   Jail..the government's way of sending you to your room.

   There's no law against sticking to your guns, but make sure you've loaded your brain before you start firing off your mouth.

   When Life knocks you down, calmly get back up, smile, and say "You hit like a bit$h."

   Welcome to Hollister would you like a gas mask, flashlight, or earplugs?

   When a guy calls you hot, he is looking at your body. When a guy calls you pretty, he is looking at your face. When a guy calls you beautiful, he is looking at your heart. All three guys still wanna fuc& you, though.