Funny Status Messages Search

X STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-06-2012 18:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I can't believe we made a movie that is essentially giving the apes a blueprint on how to take over the Earth.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-05-2011 13:18 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Sitting here watching thousands of dollars worth of food be thrown away on Hell's Kitchen while I eat my Ramen.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-09-2011 14:40 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X You better watch out, you better not cry, better not pout, I'm telling you why: you're 11 years old and you have an iPhone, you little sh!t.

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-12-2011 09:54 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your room. Those live forever.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-06-2012 12:35 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Memo to self: Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you've Gone Commando a few times in your life.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-18-2012 18:57 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X You can always count on mom's to gasp in horror when you're about to hit a car that's 300 yards away.

<--Rate | Submitted: 12-16-2011 12:25 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I smiled today. I'm going to be so sore tomorrow!

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-06-2012 18:28 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X These ‘energy saving' light-bulbs are bullsh!t. They take just as much effort to screw in as the ordinary ones.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-31-2011 10:30 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Drinks at the bar should be served in capri sun-like pouches, and if you can't get the straw in then they cut you off.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-30-2011 14:27 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.

<--Rate | Submitted: 09-11-2011 09:59 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I've spent at least 15% of my life pulling a chain & trying to figure out if the ceiling fan is speeding up or slowing down.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-03-2012 10:42 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X I see you're playing stupid. Looks like you're winning too.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-12-2011 12:23 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X If pigs really could fly I bet their wings would taste delicious.

<--Rate | Submitted: 04-14-2012 10:31 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The AMA does NOT reward talented MUSICIANS for making remarkable music, it rewards ENTERTAINERS for entertaining the easily entertained.

<--Rate | Submitted: 11-21-2011 09:15 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X If the cup is only half full, I suggest buying a smaller bra.

<--Rate | Submitted: 10-07-2011 14:06 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" is a clever little b@stard.

<--Rate | Submitted: 06-30-2012 03:49 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The only person I'd ever take love advice from is that French candlestick from Beauty and the Beast.

<--Rate | Submitted: 02-08-2012 10:48 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)

X The economy is so bad that Anglina Jolie is adopting American kids now.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-09-2011 14:42 by SuthernFukr Comments (1)

X Cars should have a thing where if you drive around with your blinker on for too long, they explode.

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-29-2011 13:50 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)