Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Some of you are going to keep trusting the system until your pronouns are was/were. 🙁
←Rate | 01-23-2023 02:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When they can’t control or manipulate you, they smear you. 😔
←Rate | 01-23-2023 03:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Me: My dog is probably thinking about other dogs. My dog: “What was Scar’s name before he got that scar?”
←Rate | 01-10-2023 02:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my chocolate calendar, there are only three days left until Valentine’s Day.
←Rate | 01-04-2023 02:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don’t understand why people buy wipes for eyeglasses. I’m confused. Wait, hold up. How many of you just use your shirttail like a real person?
←Rate | 01-04-2023 02:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Our power went down for nearly 4 hours. I got hungry, panicked and almost resorted to cannibalism. You guys are lucky the power came back on when it did, because some of you look delicious.
←Rate | 01-04-2023 02:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you stay silent and fail to rock the boat in this war between good and evil; your life might be easier, but your children’s won’t.
←Rate | 01-10-2023 02:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t you hate it when you ask someone what time it is and they’re not wearing a watch, but they look at their wrist anyway and say, “it’s about a hair past a freckle.”
←Rate | 01-06-2023 01:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I yelled “Bingo!!” but refused to let you examine my card, would you give me the prize anyway?
←Rate | 01-06-2023 19:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Merry Christmas offends you, then Merry Christmas!
←Rate | 01-06-2023 00:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you tear out a man’s tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you’re telling the world you fear what he might say.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 14:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cats are my favorite animal, because no matter where you fall on the food chain, a cat will smack the crap out of you.
←Rate | 01-10-2023 02:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trillion-dollar propaganda machine vs. people putting funny words on pictures.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 17:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They said, “Californy is the place we gotta flee,” so they loaded up the truck and moved back to Tennessee.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 02:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 01:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Doctor Doggo: “Hmmm…. I see. Have you tried barking at nothing? That might help.”
←Rate | 01-08-2023 12:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It might be called social media, but all I do is share photos and ignore people.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 17:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s called a joke, we used to tell them before people got drunk on soymilk.
←Rate | 01-08-2023 15:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 19:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My favorite part of winter is when it’s over.
←Rate | 01-06-2023 01:02 Comments (0)  




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