Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon When your landlord finds all your dog collars and leashes, but you don’t have a dog. ~ I’m a kinky girl, I’m a very kinky girl.
←Rate | 05-29-2022 00:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of hearer as well as those of the speaker.
←Rate | 07-03-2022 06:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If she starts drawing shapes on your chest after sex, just get up and leave. A very stupid question is coming.
←Rate | 07-03-2022 06:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I do not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend until death your right to say it.
←Rate | 07-03-2022 06:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Tonight’s Powerball Jackpot is up to a full tank of gas and a buggy load of groceries.
←Rate | 07-03-2022 06:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everybody sucks at driving but me.
←Rate | 07-03-2022 06:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Girl Scouts are just a cookie company that gets away with child labor.
←Rate | 04-20-2022 02:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In France you don’t say “I miss you.” You say, “Tu me manques,” which means “you are missing from me.” I love that.
←Rate | 04-19-2022 10:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The bird flu? I hope so.
←Rate | 04-19-2022 11:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Her: Undress me with your words. Him: There’s a spider in your bra.
←Rate | 06-08-2022 01:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When they can no longer control you, they will try to control what others think of you.
←Rate | 06-24-2022 23:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Whistleblower comes forward with claims that strangers drag him from place to place, make him sign papers, read words on monitors and he hardly gets any ice cream.
←Rate | 05-22-2022 03:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I was born a male and I identify as a male, but according to Stouffers portions, I'm a family of four.
←Rate | 06-07-2022 12:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon China Hut: People that don’t like cats, just haven’t had them prepared properly.
←Rate | 06-08-2022 01:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Jurassic World is about a pharma company that uses a DNA-altering pathogen to destroy farmland and deliberately cause a worldwide food crisis to force everyone to buy their products. Science Fiction is Fun!
←Rate | 06-20-2022 03:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A satisfied life is better than a successful life. Because our success is measured by others, our satisfaction is measured by our own hearts, minds, and souls.
←Rate | 06-24-2022 23:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You technically have 2 minutes to live, but every time you breathe it restarts the timer.
←Rate | 07-01-2022 01:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon doing strange things in the name of art.
←Rate | 07-03-2022 11:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A lot of people like BBQ ribs, but I make it look like an episode of the Walking Dead.
←Rate | 06-07-2022 17:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never trust a girl named Natasha. Because, Natasha spelled backwards is “ah Satan.”
←Rate | 06-08-2022 01:36 Comments (0)  

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