Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 3 of 6331

Some of you are going to keep trusting the system until your pronouns are was/were. đ
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01-23-2023 02:51
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When they canât control or manipulate you, they smear you. đ
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01-23-2023 03:06
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Me: My dog is probably thinking about other dogs. My dog: âWhat was Scarâs name before he got that scar?â
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01-10-2023 02:13
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According to my chocolate calendar, there are only three days left until Valentineâs Day.
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01-04-2023 02:41
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I donât understand why people buy wipes for eyeglasses. Iâm confused. Wait, hold up. How many of you just use your shirttail like a real person?
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01-04-2023 02:37
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Our power went down for nearly 4 hours. I got hungry, panicked and almost resorted to cannibalism. You guys are lucky the power came back on when it did, because some of you look delicious.
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01-04-2023 02:39
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If you stay silent and fail to rock the boat in this war between good and evil; your life might be easier, but your childrenâs wonât.
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01-10-2023 02:21
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Donât you hate it when you ask someone what time it is and theyâre not wearing a watch, but they look at their wrist anyway and say, âitâs about a hair past a freckle.â
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01-06-2023 01:39
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If I yelled âBingo!!â but refused to let you examine my card, would you give me the prize anyway?
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01-06-2023 19:07
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If Merry Christmas offends you, then Merry Christmas!
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01-06-2023 00:54
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When you tear out a manâs tongue, you are not proving him a liar, youâre telling the world you fear what he might say.
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01-08-2023 14:50
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Cats are my favorite animal, because no matter where you fall on the food chain, a cat will smack the crap out of you.
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01-10-2023 02:29
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Trillion-dollar propaganda machine vs. people putting funny words on pictures.
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01-08-2023 17:20
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They said, âCaliforny is the place we gotta flee,â so they loaded up the truck and moved back to Tennessee.
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01-08-2023 02:55
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Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
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01-06-2023 01:48
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Doctor Doggo: âHmmmâŚ. I see. Have you tried barking at nothing? That might help.â
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01-08-2023 12:09
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It might be called social media, but all I do is share photos and ignore people.
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01-08-2023 17:21
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Itâs called a joke, we used to tell them before people got drunk on soymilk.
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01-08-2023 15:07
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You canât change someone who doesnât see an issue with their actions.
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01-06-2023 19:34
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My favorite part of winter is when itâs over.
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01-06-2023 01:02
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