SEAN Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'SEAN': View All Messages
Page: 3 of 39

   messageicon Why do I have to answer security questions to pay my bills? Ohmygod please tell me there are hackers out there trying to pay my bills....
←Rate | 09-01-2016 08:53 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some lady on The Price is Right just won a brand new 2016 Epi-Pen.
←Rate | 09-01-2016 08:49 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Other parents do back-to-school pics of kids holding signs w/ their grade on it & mine are just a series of selfies w/ me & the bus driver.
←Rate | 09-01-2016 08:48 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate those people who ride your bumper and then start flashing their lights at you. Like, Hey- look at me, I’m driving an ambulance.........
←Rate | 09-01-2016 08:47 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon In hell, your coworker never finishes opening a wrapper.
←Rate | 09-01-2016 08:46 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put some doughnuts, ice cream, and snickers bars in my blender for dessert tonight, so yeah-I juice.
←Rate | 09-01-2016 08:45 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don’t cross the country and are back home in a few hours.
←Rate | 09-01-2016 08:45 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life Hack: Send your boss an email that says " Suck my A$$" and you wont have to go to work the next.
←Rate | 07-14-2016 15:13 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon About a year ago I told my friend there’s plenty of fish in the sea. Last I heard he is still sitting there holding his rod.
←Rate | 07-08-2016 10:08 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s bad enough when the little voices in my head talk to me. But now they are texting.
←Rate | 07-08-2016 10:02 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
←Rate | 07-08-2016 10:00 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The wife was bragging about being a multi-tasker last night, I said " O yeah, why can’t you have a headache and sex at the same time?”......
←Rate | 07-08-2016 09:11 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was reading that dogs can successfully sniff out cancer in humans. Now I’m worried that I’ve got testicular cancer.
←Rate | 07-08-2016 09:07 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst thing about spanking a disobedient child in the supermarket is having absolutely no idea who’s child it is.
←Rate | 07-08-2016 08:51 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a sign in the bus station today, it said ‘One bus takes 35 cars off the road’ personally I think it depends how aggressive the driver is…
←Rate | 07-08-2016 08:01 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon So the presidential election is between a grandma who can't figure out her email and a grandpa who believes every spam he receives? Great.
←Rate | 07-06-2016 15:24 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to dream of that fairytale kind of love. Now I'll settle for someone who'll gain weight faster than me.
←Rate | 07-06-2016 15:23 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Urinating on a jelly fish sting helps the pain. Urinating on a bee sting just makes your neighbor angry.
←Rate | 07-06-2016 15:23 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Started to wear a wig at the gym so everyone thinks I am strong for a girl.
←Rate | 07-06-2016 15:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am fed up with all these incest jokes about us Kentuckians. It's offensive to me as well as Uncle Dad.
←Rate | 07-06-2016 15:21 by SEAN Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left