JC Funny Status Messages

   You can't get on your feet until you get off your ass.

   I'm hung like Einstein and smart as a horse.

   My kid has A.D.D. and a couple of F's.

   Your proctologist called. He found your head.

   I got stone cold case of the muchies so bad that I'm eating Macaroni and Cheese straight out of the box and chasing it with a glass of milk and butter. So good! I'm tempted to try snorting that powdered cheesy goodness for ultimate processed food high.

   at Office Depot wearing a raincoat looking for a staple remover.

   Dad always tried to warn me that if I continued to play with the stapler while naked I would eventually be bored enough to try stapling things that should not be stapled. For well over 30 years I proved Dad wrong. Today, however, he was finally right.

   I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.

   The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.

   I wish Brett Favre would stop texting me photos of himself. The guy is getting out of control.

   Growing old but never up