Hiyourjon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My life is like Grand Theft Auto V except I drive a Subaru Outback and the cops wave at me
←Rate | 09-20-2013 23:02 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama banned from Call of Duty for using unlimited drone strikes cheat. Biden’s in the corner with a SNES controller making airplane sounds.
←Rate | 09-05-2013 23:56 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon This guy just told me that I was anti-social. Or at least that’s what I think he said, I wasn’t paying attention.
←Rate | 09-02-2013 21:53 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon there an STD named 'Miley Virus' yet?
←Rate | 09-02-2013 12:38 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd like to return this pack of gum. They taste awful. "Sir, those are Band-Aids." Oh, I'd like to return these Band-Aids. Someone ate some.
←Rate | 09-01-2013 12:02 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Press 1 for English. Press 2 For Spanish. Press 1 or 2 for Indian.
←Rate | 08-30-2013 15:17 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you missed the MTV awards, you can see it again by throwing yourself down a flight of stairs while chewing a light bulb.
←Rate | 08-30-2013 13:49 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
←Rate | 08-28-2013 13:02 by HiYourJon Comments (1)  


   messageicon Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious
←Rate | 08-28-2013 13:00 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was The Bachelor we'd all play Mario Kart for 8 weeks, then I'd pick the one with the biggest boobs
←Rate | 08-28-2013 08:35 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the plot of Breaking Amish isn’t an Amish guy with cancer who sells light bulbs to pay his medical bills then you can count me out.
←Rate | 08-19-2013 20:42 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to my Nike Fitness App, I've watched TV on my couch for 7 miles this week.
←Rate | 08-17-2013 16:03 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you cut soda from your diet, you'll save over $1000 a year and could spend money on more important things, like beer, meth, and skittles.
←Rate | 08-17-2013 16:00 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
←Rate | 08-16-2013 00:20 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. I don't really know what's happening down there. Who is the real hero?
←Rate | 08-15-2013 23:02 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon When one door closes, another one opens. Then you're inside Walmart.
←Rate | 08-15-2013 18:54 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm only here for the alibi.
←Rate | 08-15-2013 18:44 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon " I feel like a million bucks." -Billionaire having a crappy day.
←Rate | 08-15-2013 18:43 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The second I named my hangover "dad" it went away
←Rate | 08-15-2013 09:19 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon it OK if I abbreviate Oklahoma?
←Rate | 08-14-2013 13:32 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  




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