Eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon My mood ring isn't a fashion statement. It is a court order!
←Rate | 02-12-2012 14:24 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the over under on how many times the Bodyguard is on the next few weeks??
←Rate | 02-11-2012 21:45 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Texting angry....All CAPPS!!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:27 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage should have an expression date!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:24 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Town so small get mugged buy people you know!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:23 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never knew if my father would hit us or the bottle!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:22 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies......I am rebound material!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:20 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My father was a professional wrestler. He hit us but did not hit us!!
←Rate | 02-05-2012 01:18 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There is nothing like having a midget for a butler.
←Rate | 01-31-2012 20:13 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Charlie Sheen says he's not crazy anymore. The voices in his head told him so.
←Rate | 01-09-2012 19:16 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taking my car to get fixed today. I don't need a bunch of little car mouths to feed!
←Rate | 01-09-2012 12:39 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What is the weight limit on this roller coaster ??.....Because I am a little over my goal weight right now!!
←Rate | 01-08-2012 23:07 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy with the diesel-powered lawn equipment finished doing what he was doing in the nick of time. I've taken my finger off the trigger....
←Rate | 01-07-2012 13:43 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When they say all expenses paid, does that include bail?
←Rate | 01-03-2012 17:30 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My family is from so far out in the country that my mammy doesn't know she is free. No one will tell her b/c her cornbread off the hook.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 22:37 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The kids are nestled all snug in their bed, while Stanley's wifes on her knees giving him.. a foot massage!!
←Rate | 12-24-2011 20:28 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My kids are lucky, their crossing guard dresses as Santa every year. When I was a kid my crossing guard looked like Carla from Cheers.
←Rate | 12-22-2011 09:49 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the rate I am coughing, I expect a "Six Pack" or an "Brain Aneurysm" buy the end of the week!
←Rate | 12-21-2011 20:29 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ‎"My fingers smell like cheeseburger" is a statement that is bound to confuse others unless prefaced with a statement about having just eaten a cheeseburger. Otherwise, they just look at you like you're dirty.
←Rate | 12-16-2011 16:34 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife is taking my kids to go see the nut cracker this weekend. Of course I'm talking about my mother in law not the show.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 10:29 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  




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