love Funny Status Messages

   I like to put Aunt Jemima next to the Uncle Ben in my pantry. I'm hoping for a love connection.

   We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer- Joe's Chief of Staff.

   I'm currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening tools, Its called beeches and hoes..

   Facebook reaction emoji’s look a lot like a relationship from start to finish. Like, Love, Ha-Ha, Wow, Crying, Angry.

   Date a cat owner. They love something that doesn’t even like them back.

   Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home, they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

   What with unwanted pregnancies, social diseases and failed relationships, the Love Boat reboot will be titled the "Tug" Boat.

   The Poet: Why do you write? he asked. So, I can take my love for you and give it to the world, I reply. Because you won’t take it from me.

   Love ~ Giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting them not to.

   I love you, but I’ve chosen Rock & Roll.

   Roses are lame, love is fake, weddings are basically funerals with cake.

   Travel and tell no one. Live a true love story and tell no one. Live happily and tell no one. People ruin beautiful things.

   Brain: Don’t press send! Heart: But, we’re in love. Brain: We only met her yesterday!

   Love when the washing machine gets to the angry part, let it out girl.

   Ladies, love your man like them bi!ches in your head do.

   In France you don’t say “I miss you.” You say, “Tu me manques,” which means “you are missing from me.” I love that.

   Tell your friends you love them. Tell them a lot. Make it weird.

   There is sex without love, and there is love without sex. Then there is you, without both.

   I Love octopus. cooked right they are very tasty, Tried to cook one the other night and took me 5 hours. The sucker kept turning off the gas.

   People say "love' is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is a lot better.