Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon If you dated a Sagittarius or a Leo don't worry about what's in the Vaccine
←Rate | 01-09-2021 08:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I know this isn't the time for this y'all. But Capitol and Capital are two different words
←Rate | 01-08-2021 17:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can’t work as a cashier. The minute your card declines imma say “DAMNNN!”
←Rate | 01-08-2021 17:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can you give someone a skin graft from your butt Ass skin for a friend.
←Rate | 01-08-2021 16:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Having sex with a bipolar chick the poor man's threesome
←Rate | 01-08-2021 16:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you gonna keep going back to a toxic relationship, deactivate yer social media
←Rate | 01-08-2021 16:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My Mom sent me a friend request.... BLOCKED, you not one of my lil friends remember?
←Rate | 01-08-2021 16:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Anyone know how long it takes to get hearing aids back from repair? I sent mine off two weeks ago and haven't heard anything since
←Rate | 01-08-2021 15:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Maybe when the stuff was going down at the Capitol on Wednesday, the Government should have sent in Social Workers instead of the police.
←Rate | 01-08-2021 11:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are three sides to every argument: Your side, the other person's side, and the correct side.
←Rate | 01-08-2021 11:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I lost my watch at a party once.An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was sexually harassing some woman at that party.Infuriated, I immediately went over,punched him in the face and broke his nose.No one does that to a woman,not on my watch
←Rate | 01-08-2021 11:43 by Steve Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm just thankful that the trump supporters didn't do anything really stupid, like kneel at a football game.
←Rate | 01-08-2021 08:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I still can't believe some people's survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper.
←Rate | 01-08-2021 08:22 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  

   messageicon While walking outside a random lady walks up to me. Her: No mask? Me: No underwear either.
←Rate | 01-08-2021 08:21 by Gripenfelter Comments (0)  

   messageicon Big game at the Capitol - Patriots vs the Stealers.
←Rate | 01-08-2021 05:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Remember when our biggest fear in 2019 was lettuce?
←Rate | 01-07-2021 11:39 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Aides from inside the White House are saying that Trump seems verydespondent today. Even a hand-job from his daughter did not seem to cheer him up this morning.
←Rate | 01-07-2021 11:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know, for a traitor to God and Country, Kaleigh Mceanany is kinda hot.
←Rate | 01-07-2021 11:28 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'd like to cancel my subscription to 2021. I've experienced the 7-Day Free Trial and I'm not interested.
←Rate | 01-07-2021 07:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I post something that you don’t like, just ignore it like you ignore the corruption of the government.
←Rate | 01-07-2021 04:14 Comments (0)  

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