Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Lets behonest.. Apart from "I love you" and "I miss you" which other jokes do you know? ??
←Rate | 02-16-2018 12:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Another Playboy model has come out, saying she had an affair with Trump, 2 years into his marriage with Melania. Trump, you horny old goat, you!
←Rate | 02-16-2018 12:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon 18 school shootings since Jan. the same generation that eats laundry detergent...and you wanna say we have a gun problem.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 11:12 by Mas Comments (4)  

   messageicon 21) For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here’s a tip: why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?
←Rate | 02-16-2018 09:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If men Honestly answered facebook question ; What's on your mind? Facebook would turn into a pornsite
←Rate | 02-16-2018 04:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In ancient greece, throwing an apple at a woman , was considered a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL.......Still it is on.......Throw an Apple iPhone 8 & she will definitely say YES
←Rate | 02-16-2018 04:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Facebook needs to make a "Slap you in the face with a dictionary" button
←Rate | 02-16-2018 04:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon جمعية البراري, translation “l f@&k goats”
←Rate | 02-16-2018 03:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Once the authorities say the shooter suffers from mental issues, then you automatically know its code for he is a white male.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 03:22 Comments (1)  

   messageicon Money may not buy happiness. But it take the sting out of being miserable.
←Rate | 02-15-2018 22:51 by Justathought Comments (0)  

   messageicon Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you're up to. :)
←Rate | 02-15-2018 21:11 by Justathought Comments (0)  

   messageicon Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.
←Rate | 02-15-2018 20:14 by Crewz Comments (1)  

   messageicon Hey Trump, if you want to tax something, tax luxury cars, rolex's diamonds, etc. Regular people can't afford another gas tax.
←Rate | 02-15-2018 14:34 Comments (1)  

   messageicon What's this? A building is on fire? Not to worry. I'll stop the fire with my thoughts and prayers.
←Rate | 02-15-2018 12:00 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pro-tip: sadness is for people who are awake or sober.
←Rate | 02-15-2018 11:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Countries should not send athletes to the Olympics as a reward, but should send stupid people as a punishment. Your annoying coworker? Ski jumping. Natural selection as its best
←Rate | 02-15-2018 11:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Back when I was in high school, we didn't have guns to shoot people. We used our fists!
←Rate | 02-15-2018 10:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon OK. Who is the genius who decided to call it Box Wine and not Cardboardeaux?
←Rate | 02-15-2018 08:32 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I admit women are hard to figure out. Like, why do they tilt their head in pictures ?
←Rate | 02-15-2018 07:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shout out to all the motel maids changing the sheets and the plumbers unclogging the hair filled drains this morning.
←Rate | 02-15-2018 07:36 Comments (0)  

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