Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   If you dated a Sagittarius or a Leo don't worry about what's in the Vaccine

   I know this isn't the time for this y'all. But Capitol and Capital are two different words

   I can’t work as a cashier. The minute your card declines imma say “DAMNNN!”

   Can you give someone a skin graft from your butt Ass skin for a friend.

   Having sex with a bipolar chick the poor man's threesome

   If you gonna keep going back to a toxic relationship, deactivate yer social media

   My Mom sent me a friend request.... BLOCKED, you not one of my lil friends remember?

   Anyone know how long it takes to get hearing aids back from repair? I sent mine off two weeks ago and haven't heard anything since

   Maybe when the stuff was going down at the Capitol on Wednesday, the Government should have sent in Social Workers instead of the police.

   There are three sides to every argument: Your side, the other person's side, and the correct side.

   I lost my watch at a party once.An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was sexually harassing some woman at that party.Infuriated, I immediately went over,punched him in the face and broke his nose.No one does that to a woman,not on my watch

   I'm just thankful that the trump supporters didn't do anything really stupid, like kneel at a football game.

   I still can't believe some people's survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper.

   While walking outside a random lady walks up to me. Her: No mask? Me: No underwear either.

   Big game at the Capitol - Patriots vs the Stealers.

   Remember when our biggest fear in 2019 was lettuce?

   Aides from inside the White House are saying that Trump seems verydespondent today. Even a hand-job from his daughter did not seem to cheer him up this morning.

   You know, for a traitor to God and Country, Kaleigh Mceanany is kinda hot.

   I'd like to cancel my subscription to 2021. I've experienced the 7-Day Free Trial and I'm not interested.

   If I post something that you don’t like, just ignore it like you ignore the corruption of the government.