Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 3 of 6133

If you dated a Sagittarius or a Leo don't worry about what's in the Vaccine
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01-09-2021 08:47
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I know this isn't the time for this y'all. But Capitol and Capital are two different words
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01-08-2021 17:43
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I can’t work as a cashier. The minute your card declines imma say “DAMNNN!”
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01-08-2021 17:01
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Can you give someone a skin graft from your butt
Ass skin for a friend.
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01-08-2021 16:57
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Having sex with a bipolar chick
the poor man's threesome
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01-08-2021 16:45
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If you gonna keep going back to a toxic relationship, deactivate yer social media
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01-08-2021 16:41
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My Mom sent me a friend request.... BLOCKED, you not one of my lil friends remember?
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01-08-2021 16:38
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Anyone know how long it takes to get hearing aids back from repair? I sent mine off two weeks ago and haven't heard anything since
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01-08-2021 15:31
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Maybe when the stuff was going down at the Capitol on Wednesday, the Government should have sent in Social Workers instead of the police.
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01-08-2021 11:51
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There are three sides to every argument: Your side, the other person's side, and the correct side.
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01-08-2021 11:49
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I lost my watch at a party once.An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was sexually harassing some woman at that party.Infuriated, I immediately went over,punched him in the face and broke his nose.No one does that to a woman,not on my watch
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01-08-2021 11:43 by Steve
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I'm just thankful that the trump supporters didn't do anything really stupid, like kneel at a football game.
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01-08-2021 08:51
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I still can't believe some people's survival instincts told them to grab toilet paper.

While walking outside a random lady walks up to me. Her: No mask? Me: No underwear either.

Big game at the Capitol - Patriots vs the Stealers.
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01-08-2021 05:28
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Remember when our biggest fear in 2019 was lettuce?
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01-07-2021 11:39
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Aides from inside the White House are saying that Trump seems verydespondent today. Even a hand-job from his daughter did not seem to cheer him up this morning.
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01-07-2021 11:29
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You know, for a traitor to God and Country, Kaleigh Mceanany is kinda hot.
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01-07-2021 11:28
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I'd like to cancel my subscription to 2021. I've experienced the 7-Day Free Trial and I'm not interested.
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01-07-2021 07:31
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If I post something that you don’t like, just ignore it like you ignore the corruption of the government.
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01-07-2021 04:14
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