Hiyourjon Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields? I'm not sure about this NFL Draft thing...
←Rate | 04-27-2013 16:43 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sure, I'll attend your expensive pre-divorce ceremony
←Rate | 05-01-2013 21:19 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was 6 my cousin stole my boomerang. The next day his parents died in a car crash. Andy, if you’re reading this, I want my boomerang.
←Rate | 05-03-2013 13:18 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon What the hell did we do while waiting at red lights before cell phones?
←Rate | 05-06-2013 21:23 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I just like to sit on the couch and do nothing for 3 years.
←Rate | 05-07-2013 01:35 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know it's a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.
←Rate | 05-07-2013 01:39 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no beer. And without beer, I'll kill you all.
←Rate | 05-07-2013 01:41 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I put the "semen" in "amusement park". And that is why I am no longer welcome at Six Flags.
←Rate | 05-07-2013 01:43 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon People are like snowflakes. I only like them on Christmas.
←Rate | 05-07-2013 01:56 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time your at McDonald’s, point at the menu & say you’ll have a McSpaghetti w/ garlic bread. The look on cashiers face will be priceless
←Rate | 05-09-2013 18:13 by HiYourJon Comments (2)  


   messageicon My favorite hobby is to add my neighbors' wireless printer to my PC and print a document that says I'M INSIDE YOUR HOUSE AND COMING FOR YOU.
←Rate | 05-09-2013 20:50 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Next time your at your friends house steal his remote control. Every so often drive by his house and change the channell on his TV.
←Rate | 05-09-2013 20:52 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe Tom Cruise isn’t gay and is just a really good actor.
←Rate | 05-10-2013 01:28 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon A frat house installs a retractible ceiling. “We just can't get enough Natural Light,” says its president. They hi-five for 6 straight hours
←Rate | 05-10-2013 02:31 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon "No thanks, I'm vegetarian" is a fun thing to say when someone tries to hand you their baby.
←Rate | 05-11-2013 20:57 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon On a scale from 1 to dyslexic, how 10 am I?
←Rate | 05-12-2013 21:12 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's like Batman didn't even care about crime in the cities surrounding Gotham.
←Rate | 05-12-2013 21:15 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two rules for success.. 1. Never reveal everything you know
←Rate | 05-13-2013 23:51 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon The worst part about being stoned at work is realizing it's your day off.
←Rate | 05-17-2013 19:44 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro tip: "Hold my drink" is not a proper response to "License and registration, please." ...... apparently.
←Rate | 05-17-2013 22:08 by HiYourJon Comments (0)  




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