oregon Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Do you think America will get so LAZY that we will have "Spray on pants."
←Rate | 01-14-2015 20:25 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Mr Sandman ~ I think you lost my address for some reason. If you want to bring me a dream you can deposit it in my bank account!!
←Rate | 01-31-2012 21:29 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon It is safe to cook a turkey from the frozen state. The cooking time will take at least 50 percent longer....... REDNECK COOKIN
←Rate | 11-24-2011 14:14 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon A friend said lunch tomorrow and lets go "DUTCH" So I showed up with my DUTCH oven ready to go..
←Rate | 05-16-2012 20:04 by Oregon Comments (1)  

   messageicon I went to the store to buy a Hallmark card that says " So sorry you are unemployed and homeless" I am crossing my fingers that you get your house back, sue the bank and never have to work again.
←Rate | 11-20-2012 23:56 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I took one of my wife's vitamins this morning if anybody wants to go shoe shopping or ask my opinion on curtains, call me
←Rate | 10-20-2011 00:20 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Are you worried your not getting any phone calls? #1 Place cell Phone on silent. #2 Wait about 1 hour you should get at least 10 missed calls. #3 For the heck of it now turn volume to loudest
←Rate | 05-29-2013 14:29 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have the new Weight Watchers fridge...At midnight my fridge no longer lights up inside. My Flashlight is also out of batteries!~~THE END TO MIDNIGHT SNACKS!~
←Rate | 01-14-2015 20:16 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon BORED so Pretending to water my fake plants.....
←Rate | 01-14-2015 20:25 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon No Microsoft, I don't want to Send an Error Report because I already have a inferiority complex.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 14:34 by oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's Labor Day weekend and I am still deep in LABOR.......
←Rate | 09-05-2011 00:29 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Personal Foul......Holding.......and Unsportsmanlike Conduct Sorry I get very competitive at "All You Can Eat Buffets."
←Rate | 10-20-2013 00:55 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Obama to visit Disney World on Thursday. I guess they are planning on expanding and hiring more people or he just wants another vacation
←Rate | 01-17-2012 20:28 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon To see my family over the holidays I have an appointment book. Just so there is no fender benders.......
←Rate | 12-21-2014 18:19 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon A couple got married at a Mental Institution recently ..kind of crazy?
←Rate | 02-11-2015 23:51 by oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some days for me it's like I start off making an omelette but in the end it all ends up scrambled eggs......
←Rate | 01-16-2014 20:26 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon There is a new Flu Shot for the Window 8 computers
←Rate | 11-18-2013 00:31 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon Roses are red, violets are blue... How much do your facebook friends know about you?
←Rate | 01-06-2013 02:12 by oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon They are out hunting Duck at the protective wildlife refuge. Who is protected me or the wildlife?
←Rate | 11-24-2011 14:12 by Oregon Comments (0)  

   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: The Groundhog is wanted in 25 states stretching from the east coast!~
←Rate | 02-22-2015 17:26 by Oregon Comments (0)  

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