love Funny Status Messages

   Dating in your 20s: I love you so much. Let's get married! 30s: We get along pretty well. We should live together? 40s: I guess you can stay the night but don't touch my damn stuff.

   Did you know that if you light a candle during a full moon and say the name of the person you love three times you will look very stupid doing that.

   If anyone sees that woman drying her bra by holding it out of the car window please tell her I love her

   Love may be blind, but It doesn't have to be stupid.

   Marriage Counsellor: last week I asked you to come up with 3 things you love about each other. Me: I need an extension.

   Love when I tell a cat owner I'm allergic and they look at me like I just confessed to a series of truck stop homicides.

   Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is to know what rhymes with "Hug me" Love, Robin Thicke

   I love the fact that "Take Out" means food, dating, and murder.

   2020 love life: The washing machine has seen me naked more often than anyone else.

   My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.

   I like to leave myself sexy love notes in my lunches and act all surprised and giddy like "WHAAAAAT----NOT AGAIN!" and then proceed to read the note out loud as my co-workers look on in envy.

   I love Fall.... Unless it's Cold, Damp and Dark. Then I hate Fall.

   How do you tell someone you love them without them making it weird that you're under their bed

   It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I'm always like, "I love you," and they're like, "Thank you for choosing Pizza Hut."

   Don't worry about the problems in North Korea. We've sent the B-52's over. They'll surrender once they've listened to Love Shack a few times.

   Dogs love you even if you’re ugly.

   I love how my George Foreman Grill separates the grease and fat, so I have something to dip my burger in.

   Figured out why woman love serial killer documentaries so much. They’re about men who are dedicated, they have a plan, and are full of surprises.

   Love this time of year when I can dig graves in my front yard and people think it's just a cute Halloween display.

   I love the taste of water, especially frozen into cubes and completely surrounded by vodka.