tomcall Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon ESPN has announced that they are launching a 3D sports network. Industry analysts say this will absolutely revolutionize the way Americans don't watch soccer.
←Rate | 01-13-2010 15:31 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon Former Cuban leader Fidel Castro is reportedly a huge fan of President Obama and thinks he'd doing a great job. Boy, Obama hasn't had PR this good since the Rev. Wright was campaigning for him. Maybe he can get Gaddafi to say something nice too.
←Rate | 11-27-2009 12:41 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon President Obama has invited a group of top Republicans to watch the Super Bowl with him at the White House. That should be a lot of fun. They're gonna need a two-thirds vote before they pass him the Doritos.
←Rate | 02-06-2010 19:26 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon These high gas prices sure have made it hard to land on the dollar when filling up.
←Rate | 06-05-2010 23:01 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon The other day Pope Benedict named five new saints to the Catholic Church. Some, however, are questioning whether Obama deserved it.
←Rate | 10-23-2009 16:38 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon Man, good thing the Obama family got that dog. I'm pretty sure Sasha and Malia were tired of throwing frisbees at Joe Biden.
←Rate | 02-22-2010 17:43 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon How about those White House crashers? The other day they also crashed the Black Caucus, and if you've seen then, you know that's quite a trick.
←Rate | 12-13-2009 14:26 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon Lots of people know that when a bell rings, an angel gets its wings. What they don't know is every time a mousetrap goes off, an angel gets set on fire.
←Rate | 01-04-2010 16:12 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon Society would improve leaps and bounds if people would just stop putting those stupid Transformers emblems on their cars.
←Rate | 10-27-2010 07:14 by tomcall Comments (1)  

   messageicon While Simon Cowell was in Los Angeles for "American Idol," his home in London was robbed. Police say it was the work of professional thieves. Cowel described the thieves as "amateurish and uninspired."
←Rate | 01-10-2010 14:37 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon Recently the man who wrote the song "The Hokey Pokey" passed away at the age of 104. His last words were, "I can't believe that's what it's all about."
←Rate | 12-08-2009 11:44 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon A South Korean woman passed her written driving exam on the 950th try, taking the test every day for four years. She then went to a random typewriter and banged out a Shakespearean play.
←Rate | 12-14-2009 20:42 by tomcall Comments (0)  


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