jitney Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon if you didn't hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don't invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
←Rate | 09-30-2013 11:45 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so old, I grew up in an era where your 3D was a View Masters and you sit in the living room clickin about 15 slides. There's your Movie in HD and 3D!!!
←Rate | 01-18-2012 22:28 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you are addicted to Facebook when you log off Facebook..... turn your computer off.... go to bed, roll over & put the covers on you and log onto your Facebook from your phone one last time for the night.
←Rate | 01-16-2012 20:34 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I promised my boss i'd come in early for work on monday Aint that a great April fool's prank......
←Rate | 04-01-2013 01:23 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
←Rate | 09-09-2014 18:18 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked a question and this kid said "GOOGLE IT".....You and this Dammmm Google everything Generation!....If the power was to ever cut off, we are so in trouble!
←Rate | 05-21-2013 21:58 by Jitney Comments (1)  


   messageicon Life would be a million times better if there were pinatas strategically placed throughout the day.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 23:39 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon From now on I will only accept apologies in cash......
←Rate | 03-04-2017 00:33 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing Screams "You're stuck in friend's Zone" like when she tags you as her brother on FB
←Rate | 07-31-2012 03:14 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guess whose filing for a divorce....Tom's wife from Myspace!
←Rate | 05-21-2012 00:06 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im relocating to Colorado, I just heard the news; Colorado is now a weed state. I can smoke while voting next time around!
←Rate | 11-07-2012 00:32 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm a leader not a follower! Unless its a dark place, then F that, you're going first!
←Rate | 05-10-2013 18:40 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your clean you use SOAP, when your dirty you use SOPA.......
←Rate | 01-20-2012 11:30 by jitney Comments (1)  


   messageicon For Thxgiving, sent out a noticed to all my wierd family to BYOF menu...that's Bring Your Own Food, cuz I cant keep up with all the Vegans, gulton-free, diabetics, sugarfree, only-carbs diet, no-carbs diet, and the no water diet people in my family.
←Rate | 11-25-2013 18:59 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Melania's Speech was 100% real... Trust Me I was THERE!" - Brian Williams
←Rate | 07-20-2016 04:17 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend asked my advice on how to impress his date. I suggested that I go in his place.
←Rate | 01-11-2016 19:58 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who is ready to celebrate "No More Campaing" Adds on Wednesday? Ive got the beer!
←Rate | 11-06-2012 01:28 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shouldn't those polar bears have diabetes by now???? #tooMuchCoke
←Rate | 02-05-2012 19:23 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon She texted me, "Are you near your phone" I texted her back, "No" She replied, "well text me when you are!"
←Rate | 12-10-2016 20:08 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
←Rate | 01-11-2016 21:21 by jitney Comments (0)  


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