jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Most wives don't mind if their husband brings some work home with them to do. But my sister sure does. Her husband is a mortician.
←Rate | 09-01-2017 23:28 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Babies cry at night to prevent their parents from making another one.
←Rate | 01-06-2018 00:34 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Another good feeling. Waking up and realizing that it's sunday and not monday morning. AAAAAH......zzzzzzz.
←Rate | 09-12-2017 21:17 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon Teacher: Billy, what rhymes with orange? Billy: No it doesn't.
←Rate | 10-13-2017 17:44 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon such an adrenaline junky that when I see a 'caution wet floor sign' I walk faster
←Rate | 09-15-2009 12:13 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being energy efficient. When I saw an advertisment for a solar power clothes dryer. I ordered one. What I receive was a 25 foot clothes-line and a pack of 50 clothes pins.
←Rate | 09-22-2017 16:15 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon View the world the way you would like it to be, and not as it is. It's less stressful.
←Rate | 10-03-2017 04:06 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas shopping for dangerous toys. For kids I don't like.
←Rate | 11-19-2009 14:05 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's going to be a Good Friday.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 09:17 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most wives don't mind if their husband bring some work home to do. But my sister does, her husband is a mortician.
←Rate | 09-02-2017 15:13 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Living in a nudist colony, takes all the fun out of Halloween.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 22:54 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sister ask her brother: Am I pretty or ugly? Brother: Your both. Sister: What do you mean? Brother: Your pretty ugly.
←Rate | 10-13-2017 22:32 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who don't have a dog, have to pick the food up them self that they drop on the floor .
←Rate | 08-30-2017 20:47 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon We were so poor. That one birthday my gift was a pack of batteries with a note, toys not included.
←Rate | 09-05-2017 16:51 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Quickest way to get a person to call you back. Take a bath.
←Rate | 08-27-2017 04:08 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to confuse people this Halloween? Wear a Santa Claus suit as your costume.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 07:07 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon such an unthoughtful farmer that he wants to smash his neighbor's White Mystery Eggs and slaughter their Baby Calf if he can't get them off his News Feed.
←Rate | 02-26-2010 18:31 by jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone really ever listen to the wedding march melody? Dumb dumb de dumb ...... Dumb dumb de dumb.
←Rate | 08-31-2017 01:59 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon At Halloween never go to a dog park dressed as a fire hydrant.
←Rate | 09-20-2017 17:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon committed to TWAT. (The War Against Terrorism)
←Rate | 01-28-2010 13:31 by jake Comments (0)  



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