cj Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Make love, not war. Hell, do both, GET MARRIED!
←Rate | 06-05-2010 12:53 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon You should get out of any relationship where you secretly hope the other person is kidnapped and held for a ransom you can't pay.
←Rate | 04-12-2012 17:55 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pretending that the laser pointer app on your phone tells you if your kid brushed his teeth good enough..priceless!
←Rate | 12-17-2011 22:16 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.
←Rate | 01-07-2010 15:39 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent Condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything."
←Rate | 11-12-2011 12:10 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!
←Rate | 04-13-2011 11:29 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't get drunk .. I get AWESOME!!
←Rate | 04-21-2010 14:09 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.
←Rate | 02-21-2011 12:04 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
←Rate | 02-21-2010 10:36 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon LOVE ~ It's a special kind of stupid.....
←Rate | 03-22-2011 16:11 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
←Rate | 08-01-2011 11:37 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I ever get rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.
←Rate | 06-22-2012 11:02 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house
←Rate | 06-22-2012 11:10 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just because I liked your status, doesn't mean I actually read it. More to make you feel like someone actually cares about what you have to say.
←Rate | 12-28-2011 20:23 by Cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only I suffer!!!
←Rate | 05-11-2010 16:39 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon I lost a friend overnight, It was very sudden. There must be a reason, but I can't for the life of me think what it might be. Now they're gone. Yesterday I had 583 friends, now only 582 I hope everyone reads this far before they say "sorry for your loss"
←Rate | 01-26-2012 11:03 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
←Rate | 02-05-2010 18:50 by cj Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear sweatpants and hoodies: thanks for being there for me. Sincerely, sexy and I know it, but too lazy to show it!!
←Rate | 05-05-2012 00:51 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, 'No hablo ingles.'
←Rate | 06-22-2012 11:13 by CJ Comments (0)  

   messageicon So put that in your juice box and suck it!
←Rate | 03-10-2010 14:27 by cj Comments (0)  

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