Snotty Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Balloons are so much more expensive than when I was a kid... Probably due to,,,,, you know,, inflation.
←Rate | 12-11-2016 19:24 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?.. <YES>.. Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?. <YES>.. Thank you for installing Adobe Flash. A new version is available. Install?
←Rate | 09-05-2016 15:50 by Snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I bite into a York peppermint patty,, I get the sensation,,,,,, That I should have bought a Reese's peanut butter cup...
←Rate | 07-02-2012 20:42 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'll defend puppies & kittens with my life.. But if your kid's acting like a spoiled brat...I will ABSOLUTELY knock him over when you're not looking.
←Rate | 04-08-2012 08:27 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Molasses is surprisingly tasty,,,, However, I have to admit,,, I have never actually tried any other parts of a mole yet,,so,,,,,,
←Rate | 12-13-2011 13:00 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Math Problem: If Matt has 16 oz of coffee and loses 4 oz at each of 5 speed bumps going into work, how many seconds until Matt kills everyone?
←Rate | 03-21-2012 20:15 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon So sad that out of 200 countries in this world,, America ranks 35th in the world in math... But at least that keeps us still in the top 10%
←Rate | 06-12-2012 09:05 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn't made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
←Rate | 06-05-2014 19:08 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 42,337 times,, and you are a weather man.
←Rate | 02-29-2012 07:21 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I just won an award for being lazy,,,It even came with atrophy
←Rate | 04-11-2012 07:02 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Can you even imagine how long the Carfax report is on the Batmobile
←Rate | 10-12-2013 14:37 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Bands who can't afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert
←Rate | 10-17-2012 22:57 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon There's now a Taco Bell taco with a shell made out of Doritos?,, Hmmm, It seems that our junk foods have started hunting each other.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 17:11 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon GIRLS: To make a guy panic, simply ask ,, " Notice anything different?'................. * works EVERY time
←Rate | 04-24-2014 10:35 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your car took up two spaces,, So I tried to move it over with my key.
←Rate | 04-28-2015 23:18 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Twenty percent of all relationships fail because someone buys a selfie stick.
←Rate | 09-27-2015 19:31 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
←Rate | 08-11-2016 18:22 by Snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I already want to take a nap tomorrow
←Rate | 05-03-2012 15:55 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm writing a book about reverse psychology.. Please don't buy it.
←Rate | 04-26-2012 06:59 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon PRO TIP: If you post a pic of the temperature in your car on Facebook the University of Phoenix will email you a Meteorology degree.
←Rate | 03-25-2015 13:08 by snotty Comments (0)  

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