Scottyp Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If before every major life decision, people would just say "What would Charlie Sheen do?"...The world would be so much more interesting....
←Rate | 03-02-2011 21:01 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow it's hot outside....I was only out there for 10 minutes and I was wetter than Kim Kardashian at the BET Awards...
←Rate | 08-29-2013 19:46 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just picked out a Valentines Card from the Ben Roethlisberger collection. It came with a roofy, two advil for the day after and a do-it-yourself police report..
←Rate | 02-10-2011 16:55 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon After a very thorough, 25 year investigation, charges have officially been filed against "video" for her part in the killing of the radio star.....
←Rate | 02-03-2011 15:02 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess it time to test my theory that Vodka (being alcohol) should kill the flu virus.......
←Rate | 02-26-2011 12:59 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to be a people person......but people fckued that all up...
←Rate | 05-31-2013 21:59 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes when I'm bored, I pick out a girl from my list of FB friends that I've never actually met and then go back on her timeline and like every single post she made in like 2009......That should freak her out a bit...
←Rate | 10-09-2012 09:25 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Firetrucks & ambulances would be far more effective if they were to replace that annoying siren with the song "Move B*tch" by Ludacris
←Rate | 03-11-2011 08:46 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best thing about drinking wine in a box is when you finish it, you can unfold the box and break dance on it....
←Rate | 08-02-2014 08:43 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I could get 3 dollars plus a gallon for MY gas....I mean, it seems to be pretty high octane...........
←Rate | 01-25-2011 20:52 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon We would like to thank the NY Giants for their participation in the 2013 NFL season. Please pick up your consolation prize at the door on your way out. Thank you
←Rate | 10-11-2013 07:37 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I agree that some people might have been dropped on their head as a baby....but some people were clearly thrown against a wall
←Rate | 01-24-2011 23:45 by scottyp Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm not saying that you and your girlfriend are unatractive, but when you two got into that physical altercation at the bar, every single person there immediately called PETA except for Michael Vick and that's only because he had already wagered on her
←Rate | 01-30-2011 00:14 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon "KiSS HER"~~~Me watching women's boxing.....
←Rate | 08-15-2015 10:01 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let my friends talk me into smokin "chronic" for the first time last night but I prob. should've skipped my Ambien dose. Apparently, I started and completed my first book.."101 Ways to Prepare Succulent Penguin"...I didn't even know you could eat Penguin
←Rate | 01-07-2011 20:51 by scottyp Comments (1)  


   messageicon I really want a sandwich, but I just don't have the time or energy to find a girlfriend right now.....
←Rate | 06-16-2012 15:08 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon ice seems to be able to make even the most graceful of people turn into really bad break dancers.....
←Rate | 02-04-2011 09:53 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know what it is that you're doing to make it appear as if you're really stupid, but whatever it is, it's really working
←Rate | 03-02-2011 13:28 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: Cheese factory explodes---nothing left but de Brie
←Rate | 01-24-2011 18:48 by scottyp Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would like to take this time to thank everyone for our VICTORY against global warming. Well done, everyone, well done.......
←Rate | 02-10-2011 00:00 by scottyp Comments (0)  




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