Mike Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
←Rate | 12-22-2009 10:28 by mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon Horse racing is just like NASCAR only slower.....and with poop.
←Rate | 11-27-2009 12:26 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wish I could say it"s nice to see Michael Bolton working again, but it's really not. Thanks Honda.
←Rate | 11-20-2013 20:01 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon Now that's news! That poor rat was yanked out of his mailbox this morning and predicted that all the people watching in the cold were idiots.
←Rate | 02-02-2014 08:10 by mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon there are no shortcuts to any place worth going...
←Rate | 12-27-2009 23:54 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon I consider any gun that is pointed at me and fired with the intent to harm me to be an assault weapon.
←Rate | 01-27-2013 16:26 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon Apparently the police asked Tiger's wife how many times she hit him. She said "I don't know exactly... but put me down for a 5."
←Rate | 12-04-2009 08:20 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm not really sure who won the Powerball drawing-- but as my coworkers start to show up, I'm able to cross off my list of likely winners.
←Rate | 11-29-2012 18:58 by mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wonders if getting excited in your car is considered autoerotic?
←Rate | 07-30-2010 15:15 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon I saw some bright orange splatter on the drive home from DC....it was either a smashed pumpkin, or John Boehner--either way I assumed it was worthless and wasn't stopping
←Rate | 10-31-2010 19:20 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Blonde men aren't dumb, they're evil. Like in the Karate Kid and World War II." - Bart Simpson
←Rate | 05-03-2010 19:48 by mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ha ha, my dog ate one of my diuretics and is now pissing a circle around the neighbor's Corvette ...pretty sure this means that is now his car.
←Rate | 02-01-2013 10:31 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon I saw on the news that Flavor Flav is 56 years old today, and had two immediate thoughts: 1. How the F$%^ did Flav manage to take care of himself for 56 years? 2. F$%^, I'm old.
←Rate | 03-17-2014 05:52 by mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon The bad thing about aging is that sooner or later, "bust a move" turns into "bust a hip."
←Rate | 10-22-2013 20:39 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon I asked my significant other what time it was this evening and got the response of "5:54...5:53...5:52...". I guess next time I should remind her the microwave is on.
←Rate | 12-26-2010 22:57 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon Moving into the White house would be living in poverty for Trump...he'd be slumming it.
←Rate | 07-26-2015 09:19 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon is hoping for some Salem style mayhem before having to sit through another Harry Potter snorefest.....Gandalf still owes me 8 bucks for the last one.
←Rate | 11-19-2010 05:04 by mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon anyone who says it's as easy as taking candy from a baby, has never tried taking candy from a baby!
←Rate | 08-23-2009 23:05 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon more bars in more places.
←Rate | 02-17-2009 11:26 by Mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope Manti's girlfriend likes San Diego.
←Rate | 04-27-2013 08:10 by mike Comments (0)  

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