Jitney Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call..."America's most wanted" or Pedofiliers/Stalkers
←Rate | 06-23-2014 17:50 by Jitney Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm so old, I grew up in an era where your 3D was a View Masters and you sit in the living room clickin about 15 slides. There's your Movie in HD and 3D!!!
←Rate | 01-18-2012 22:28 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you are addicted to Facebook when you log off Facebook..... turn your computer off.... go to bed, roll over & put the covers on you and log onto your Facebook from your phone one last time for the night.
←Rate | 01-16-2012 20:34 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I promised my boss i'd come in early for work on monday Aint that a great April fool's prank......
←Rate | 04-01-2013 01:23 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon I asked a question and this kid said "GOOGLE IT".....You and this Dammmm Google everything Generation!....If the power was to ever cut off, we are so in trouble!
←Rate | 05-21-2013 21:58 by Jitney Comments (1)  


   messageicon I beat my chess opponent in less than five moves with the chair I was sitting on!
←Rate | 09-09-2014 18:18 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life would be a million times better if there were pinatas strategically placed throughout the day.
←Rate | 12-14-2016 23:39 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon From now on I will only accept apologies in cash......
←Rate | 03-04-2017 00:33 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guess whose filing for a divorce....Tom's wife from Myspace!
←Rate | 05-21-2012 00:06 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing Screams "You're stuck in friend's Zone" like when she tags you as her brother on FB
←Rate | 07-31-2012 03:14 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im relocating to Colorado, I just heard the news; Colorado is now a weed state. I can smoke while voting next time around!
←Rate | 11-07-2012 00:32 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon When your clean you use SOAP, when your dirty you use SOPA.......
←Rate | 01-20-2012 11:30 by jitney Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm a leader not a follower! Unless its a dark place, then F that, you're going first!
←Rate | 05-10-2013 18:40 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon For Thxgiving, sent out a noticed to all my wierd family to BYOF menu...that's Bring Your Own Food, cuz I cant keep up with all the Vegans, gulton-free, diabetics, sugarfree, only-carbs diet, no-carbs diet, and the no water diet people in my family.
←Rate | 11-25-2013 18:59 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Melania's Speech was 100% real... Trust Me I was THERE!" - Brian Williams
←Rate | 07-20-2016 04:17 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon My friend asked my advice on how to impress his date. I suggested that I go in his place.
←Rate | 01-11-2016 19:58 by Jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who is ready to celebrate "No More Campaing" Adds on Wednesday? Ive got the beer!
←Rate | 11-06-2012 01:28 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shouldn't those polar bears have diabetes by now???? #tooMuchCoke
←Rate | 02-05-2012 19:23 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon She texted me, "Are you near your phone" I texted her back, "No" She replied, "well text me when you are!"
←Rate | 12-10-2016 20:08 by jitney Comments (0)  


   messageicon Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
←Rate | 01-11-2016 21:21 by jitney Comments (0)  



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