Funny Status Messages Search

X is the condoms I use are so sensitive, they stick around to talk to the chick for an hour after I leave."

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-14-2010 11:53 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is All the Animals are on board and accounted for, Noah, but I've got bad news. The unicorns are gay."

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-14-2010 12:00 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Do you think the Man in the Yellow Hat mentions George on his Internet dating profile?"

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-14-2010 12:05 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is my new excuse for leaving the bar early on a Saturday NIght: "I gotta Preach tomorrow."

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-14-2010 12:09 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is I have a cold. it makes my voice sound like a sexy pirate."

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-14-2010 19:07 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is I just realised Chewbacca carries a Purse!"

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-14-2010 19:09 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Oh didnt I tell you? Must have been none of your f*cking business."

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-15-2010 11:45 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Scientists they don't know why this is true, but it's true. Women with big rear ends live longer.. Men who tell them that, Don't."

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-15-2010 12:10 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is OMG, you drink near beer? That's like when my sister circled all the Waldo's in my "Where's Waldo Book?" totally worthless and not enjoyable.

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-16-2010 17:05 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is there is so many fun things to do at home that alot of people don't really think about doing but would if they were told about it.. Sitting in Hot tub and playing wii at the same time is one of them."

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-17-2010 13:35 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is wondering why Dora never tells her parents about the fox that keeps stalking her."

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-19-2010 23:44 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is now that were all out of the car, I'm just gonna tell everybody since I have to go to the bathroom now. That when everybody thought that it was a dead skunk on the road,.. that's not what it was."

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-20-2010 17:27 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X thinks it's Hotter Outside then a Las Vegas Sidewalk on the Fourth of July!.."

<--Rate | Submitted: 07-26-2010 18:55 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is I'm a cool dad, that's my thang. I'm hip, I surf the web, I text. LOL: laugh out loud, OMG: oh my god, WTF: why the face

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-02-2010 18:10 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Brett Favre retired today, I'm not Worried about it too much. It's kinda like when Snoop Dog quit's weed. It really means nothing."

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-03-2010 11:20 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is Where did you get those shoes? Whores-for-less?"

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-12-2010 11:55 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is I remember when I was younger "Friday the 13th" used to make think about Jason movies. Now all I can think about is "Do the bars have any specials today?"

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-13-2010 18:18 by DYLAN BOSCH Comments (0)

X is do you know why kids think I'm Cool?.. Because I was raised to talk and think like a 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle' that's why."

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-17-2010 15:22 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X is You know I like my status updates like I like my mini skirts. Long enough to cover the important parts but short enough to keep things interesting."

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-17-2010 20:55 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)

X does anyone still miss the old facebook?.. yeah that's what I thought, sell-outs."

<--Rate | Submitted: 08-18-2010 22:52 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)