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Page: 27 of 138
Lazy Rules #1:The farther away the remote is, the more you like what's already on TV.
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06-06-2011 21:56 by
BEGO
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People say I’m sarcastic but I’m just investigating the effects of irony on morons.
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01-04-2013 21:28 by
BEGO
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“Who is this I just got a new phone?” Really means I didn’t bother to store your number because you aren’t that important.
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05-31-2013 21:18 by
BEGO
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Since the damn world is ending in 2012, I've decided to buy everything at places with a "Don't pay until 2013" plan.
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04-27-2011 23:00 by
BEGO
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Talk used to be cheap...then someone invented cell phones.
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06-05-2011 22:47 by
BEGO
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The hardest thing in life is letting go of what you thought was real.
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06-13-2011 21:31 by
BEGO
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Pretty sure I could make an entire meal with the crumbs in my keyboard.
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04-19-2012 21:01 by
BEGO
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Sometimes I wish I could be one of my friends for 1 day, to see how it is to hang out with me..
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08-26-2012 22:43 by
BEGO
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The speed at which I can prepare food during a commercial break is amazing
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08-31-2012 22:32 by
BEGO
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When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth, you were holding an umbrella.
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04-13-2011 22:51 by
BEGO
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I can't even imagine what people did at red lights before cellphones.
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05-12-2011 22:39 by
BEGO
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I tell people to have a great weekend at noon on Mondays hoping they won't talk to me for the rest of the week.
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03-13-2011 00:00 by
BEGO
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Sometimes relationships last longer when facebook doesn't know about them.
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07-24-2012 22:27 by
BEGO
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Be your own best friend. Everyone will be jealous.
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09-19-2012 21:25 by
BEGO
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Facebook is the leading cause to cell phone battery deaths.
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04-13-2012 20:37 by
BEGO
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My shower only has two options: 3rd degree burns or skinny dipping in Antarctica.
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03-03-2012 22:00 by
BEGO
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I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house.
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01-11-2012 18:56 by
BEGO
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It's Friday night... So many innocent beers have no idea what's coming for 'em.
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05-18-2012 21:44 by
BEGO
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Dear Girls : No Need To Do Anything For Halloween … Just Remove The Makeup And Go To The Party
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10-31-2014 12:28 by
BEGO
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Sometimes, you have to realize that some people can stay in your heart, but not in your life.
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08-23-2012 22:22 by
BEGO
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