Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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Page: 26 of 5549

   messageicon So the government spies on us all the time and its no big deal, but someone hacks in and steals celebretards nudies and its a national emergency? SMH
←Rate | 09-03-2014 05:32 by Guy Fawkes Comments (0)  

   messageicon Want people to leave you alone? Tuck in your sweater.
←Rate | 12-11-2013 13:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  

   messageicon The information age, does anyone else find it just a little bit ironic that it has produced so many uninformed people.
←Rate | 07-26-2015 21:52 by Stormer59101 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My salt shaker has been clogged for two years, so don't come to me with your issues.
←Rate | 02-18-2015 12:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon “Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
←Rate | 03-24-2015 06:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.
←Rate | 03-30-2015 11:36 by M Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you know I'm I the car and you continue to text me, you basically want me dead...
←Rate | 02-13-2012 11:31 by CzyRd Comments (0)  

   messageicon Motivation= get on treadmill naked in front of mirror
←Rate | 02-26-2012 11:20 by zandra Comments (0)  

   messageicon Women hate being treated different than men, until there's a hostage situation and woman and children are let go first.
←Rate | 11-18-2011 19:35 by g0re Comments (0)  

   messageicon I always go the extra mile. The restraining order says I have to.
←Rate | 06-06-2012 12:41 by SuthernFukr Comments (0)  

   messageicon When a traffic light is out of service you should just treat the intersection as a demolition derby.
←Rate | 07-02-2012 14:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I really pity whoever is the last man on earth. Most women agree they want nothing to do with that guy.
←Rate | 04-04-2012 15:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm looking for sponsors to prove that money can't make me happy.....Please send generous donations so I can conduct my experiment! ツ
←Rate | 12-09-2011 11:42 by totalpackage Comments (0)  

   messageicon Russia is going to the moon, we can't even get to the next state with the price of gas
←Rate | 02-04-2012 21:45 by smeebert Comments (0)  

   messageicon We have rappers who used to be pimps and gangsters telling us not to download music because it's stealing..
←Rate | 09-25-2012 17:36 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I wished I was in a gang so I'd know what to do with my hand in pictures
←Rate | 10-17-2012 10:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hope the friends that haven't called me in a while know how much I appreciate that.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 12:20 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Rumor has it that Wikileaks was on the verge of disclosing what Willis was talkin' 'bout.
←Rate | 12-19-2010 13:25 by me40299 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wishing everyone a happy holiday. If your not sure what holiday it is just google March 14th.
←Rate | 03-13-2010 22:28 by Brian Comments (0)  

   messageicon it's not death I's what they'll find on my computer when I go!!
←Rate | 03-16-2010 09:49 by Shane Comments (0)  

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