Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 253 of 6370
Blackened Chicken Recipe: 1. Clean chicken 2. Place chicken in oven 3. Go check social media
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05-06-2021 05:56
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Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii or just a low ha…🤔
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05-06-2021 05:40
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Ivanka Trump announced she got the vaccine shot. This means, no matter what I believe, I have to get the shot too or else the Trump family will hate me.
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05-06-2021 00:42
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I send women a picture of my medicine cabinet so they know Exactly what they are getting into 😛
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05-05-2021 18:00
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Oxygen was dicovered in 1977....
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05-05-2021 17:39
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Do beavers even know what they're doing? Or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, "Absolutely not!"
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05-05-2021 14:37 by SmS
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To those who oppose Governor Desantis' covid revisions, kindly remain locked up in your homes with your masks firmly attached to your faces along with your heads up your a$$es.
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05-05-2021 09:51
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I mistook a flash flood warning for a neighboring town as a “flash mob” announcement. So, when I showed up for it, I looked stupid. And my shoes got wet.
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05-05-2021 09:41
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I don’t want to marry Bill Gates because he’s rich. I want to marry Bill Gates so I never have to fix my own computer.
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05-05-2021 09:40
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They say you’ll never forget your first kiss, but what they don’t tell you is you will also never forget the first time you throw up everything you consumed at the state fair.
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05-05-2021 09:39
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When I was a kid we didn’t have to come home until the street lights came on, and sometimes our parents shot them out on purpose.
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05-05-2021 09:39
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“Feeling sad? We can help make it worse” - online dating
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05-05-2021 07:40
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To those who truly believes that the burger police will come for you on the forth of july, please don't procreate.
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05-04-2021 22:14
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I was caught up in a really good book last night. I didn't stop coloring until 2am...
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05-04-2021 15:26 by Gabe
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Mike, Who, Cheese, Harry ~ say it faster
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05-03-2021 22:03
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Can’t believe my dog just ran into Petco and left me in the car with the windows rolled up
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05-03-2021 15:08
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Remember when the biggest problem we faced was Gangnam Style
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05-03-2021 15:04
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Dad was probably bluffing when he said he’d turn the car around after driving 198 miles of a 200 mile trip but WE COULDN’T TAKE THAT CHANCE.
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05-03-2021 15:03
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I just want to be fit enough to reach into my glove compartment, without crying.
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05-03-2021 15:02
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In my family, we settle all disputes by pointing out the other’s short comings and failures and whoever starts crying first loses.
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05-03-2021 15:01
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