Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
Why couldn't Eve have just made Adam a sammich like other women? 
If the 2nd Amendment only applies to muskets, then government healthcare should only apply to leeches, bloodletting, and lobotomies.
So....:it's not okay to have children deported, but it is okay to have them aborted? How does that make sense?!
New entertainment. I go to a FB friends wall that I rarely talk to and I keep going back to the oldest post I can find from them and press like. This really confuses them. Especially, if it's them just asking someone you don't know how they are
Do more than belong.. Participate! Do more than care.. Help! Do more than believe.. Trust! Do more than be fair.. Be kind! Do more than forgive.. Forget! Do more than dream.. Work! Life keeps going, be part of it..
Hef engaged to a 24 year old?! Now I'm inspired that my future trophy wife may not even be born until 2040!
gonna rock your WALL!
wonders how love potions 1-8 worked out.
So, you say it was a long day huh? Well I bet it was 24 hrs long just like everybody elses!
Yesterday my wife brought home a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. The title of it is. . . "Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong"
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?, MC-SEABASS? IT'S THE MCDONALD'S MENU, IT'S BEEN THE SAME FOR TWENTY YEARS! IT'S ALL MCCRAP! JUST ORDER!
"How are feeling today?" is a polite reminder that you were a mess the night before.
Honk, if you want to see my finger!
reading a book....yea I know I was shocked too
So theres a new college fraternity for sluts called Alpha Kenny Body.
KFC want you to buy a Bucket of obesity and heart attack inducing food for Breast Cancer? COME ON SON!!
The secret is Victoria is actually Victor!!!
Love me or hate me its still an obsession...
~ Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin, it's the triumphant twang of a bedspring.~
over the years has realized that marriage is like a hand of poker, you start with a pair and end up with a full house... 