Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Search Messages:
A woman's superpower is turning an insignificant misunderstanding into a catastrophe of biblical proportions 
Imagine someone trying to assassinate Trump and the secret service having to yell ,Donald Duck
There is a fat black lady who looks like Beyoncé on TV
Where are all the peaceful Musl/Ms marching against terrorism?
Now that Steven Hawking is gone, who will do the emergency alert broadcasts on the radio?
The shooter most likely got tired of not been able to skip ads on youtube
Why couldn't Eve have just made Adam a sammich like other women?
If the 2nd Amendment only applies to muskets, then government healthcare should only apply to leeches, bloodletting, and lobotomies.
So....:it's not okay to have children deported, but it is okay to have them aborted? How does that make sense?!
New entertainment. I go to a FB friends wall that I rarely talk to and I keep going back to the oldest post I can find from them and press like. This really confuses them. Especially, if it's them just asking someone you don't know how they are
Do more than belong.. Participate! Do more than care.. Help! Do more than believe.. Trust! Do more than be fair.. Be kind! Do more than forgive.. Forget! Do more than dream.. Work! Life keeps going, be part of it..
Hef engaged to a 24 year old?! Now I'm inspired that my future trophy wife may not even be born until 2040!
gonna rock your WALL!
wonders how love potions 1-8 worked out.
So, you say it was a long day huh? Well I bet it was 24 hrs long just like everybody elses!
Yesterday my wife brought home a book for me to read to enhance our relationship. The title of it is. . . "Women are from Venus, Men are Wrong"
WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?, MC-SEABASS? IT'S THE MCDONALD'S MENU, IT'S BEEN THE SAME FOR TWENTY YEARS! IT'S ALL MCCRAP! JUST ORDER!
"How are feeling today?" is a polite reminder that you were a mess the night before.
Honk, if you want to see my finger!
It is hard to believe someone is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in their place. 