bego Funny Status Messages
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Hey, I found your nose. It was in my business again.
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06-06-2011 21:53 by BEGO
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There's always that one person who makes you wanna raise your middle finger every time they speak to you
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04-13-2011 21:35 by BEGO
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Fast replies make me feel like you actually want to talk to me. But slow replies make me think you're talking to someone better.
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03-06-2012 19:54 by BEGO
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When I see your face, there's not a thing I would change .... except the direction I'm walking in.
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03-08-2012 21:18 by BEGO
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Now my friends all hate me because I've been keeping my enemies closer.
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06-27-2011 21:48 by BEGO
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I wish breaking up with someone meant they had to refund all the money you spent on them.
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06-20-2012 21:59 by BEGO
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If people could hear the next five seconds after I hit "end" on a call, I would have no friends.
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04-24-2012 21:06 by BEGO
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I love finding money in my pockets after a night of drinking. It's like a gift to sober me…from drunk me.
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04-09-2012 21:19 by BEGO
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What do you call a girl who expects a guy to do everything for her, make all the first moves, and text her first every day? SINGLE.
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07-06-2012 21:33 by BEGO
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An "ex" is called an "ex" because it's an EXample of what you shouldn't have again in the future ;)
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07-12-2010 23:46 by BEGO
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Old is when your sweetie says, “Lets go upstairs and make love,” and you answer, “Honey, I can't do both!”
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04-13-2011 21:38 by BEGO
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Skinny = anorexic , thick = obese , virgin = too good , non-virgin = slut , friendly = fake , quiet = rude. You can never please society
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10-21-2012 22:03 by BEGO
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Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who's free for the weekend
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03-25-2011 15:01 by BEGO
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Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
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05-14-2011 14:53 by BEGO
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Before Facebook, I had told maybe six people “Happy Birthday,” ever.
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06-03-2011 23:04 by BEGO
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I'm not shy, I'm just really good at figuring out who's worth talking to
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11-21-2012 21:16 by BEGO
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Dear IRS…I would like an itemized receipt showing me exactly how every one of my tax dollars is being spent. Thanks.
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04-11-2014 22:31 by BEGO
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Bit%h If We Break Up... I'm Changing My Netflix Password ... You Ain't Bouta Be Cuddled Up With Anotha Guy On My $8 a Month
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05-31-2013 21:15 by BEGO
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I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kinda like my toaster.
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05-22-2012 21:16 by BEGO
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Some of you ask me how I spend my valentines day: Naked, on the floor with a bottle of liquor in my hand, Screaming Adele songs to my cat.
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02-15-2014 21:40 by BEGO
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