Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages
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n't it annoying when you accidentally drop something like a bread crumb into your keyboard and you have to get ighhghghghghhghghbhbhghgbhbhbggggggggggggh
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I don't know about you, but I'm sick of seeing disabled people being pushed around...
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..sold her tv and bought a dvd player. Bargain! Oh..wait..
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Yo mamma so fat that when she lays on the beach, Green Peace try to push her back into the water.
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Some call it stalking. I call it love.
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Lying about my age is easier now that I sometimes forget what it is.
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What is it with Facebook games like Mafia and Farmville. I guess people need to balance their murder and violence with beets and little lost sheep.
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An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh.
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A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking. A wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.
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forgot to buy candy for the kids this Halloween but will offer them a bite of her sandwich.
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"GATES PLEDGES $10 BILLION FOR VACCINES." Hope it's to fight viruses in windows.
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Explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. 3.14159265 dead.
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why does a woman have two sets of lips? One to argue with the other to apologize.
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..doesn't go looking for trouble. She knows exactly where to find it!
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Dilemma: Do I wash all my dishes or should I eat my cornflakes in a cup with a knife?
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I've figured out how to avoid getting parking tickets;I've taken the windscreen wipers off my car.
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..if people say they're "as honest as the day is long" does that mean they become less truthful in the winter?
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Naomi Campbell should take up golf because she's really good at hitting the driver.
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The spaces between your fingers were created so that another's could fill them in.
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..is having a threesome with two men tonight : Ben &Jerry. x
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