BEGO Funny Status Messages

   To me, drink responsibly means don't f?cking spill it

   The only time a woman succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby

   Todays Generation – “omg my parents never let me have nything.” via iPhone

   Even if women came with a set of instructions, men would toss them aside without reading them.

   Have you ever said something and immediately thought "I didn't know I knew that."

   I didn't text you to exercise my fingers, I want a damn reply.

   Friends are forever, until they are in relationship.

   I will always forgive you, I only want you to realize what you have done wrong.

   I wish falling in love had traffic lights, so that I would know if I should: Go for it, slow down, or just stop.

   My parents used to be happy when I took naps… but now they think I'm lazy.

   That mini heart attack when you can't feel your phone in your pocket!

   Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of s$it.

   hey... I just met you, and this is crazy, but please shut the f$ck up.

   I hope they gave this year's Nobel Prize to the dude who invented Yoga Pants.

   Dont lose the girl of your life, for the hoe of the night.

   Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells F&CK really loud then people scurry like mad.

   Thanksgiving is for thanking, not shopping..

   I told everybody at work that I've got 18 cats just to make sure none of them ever want to come over for anything.

   Ladies, Admit it. Sometimes you look down at your own boobs and think "Wow, this is Awesome!"

   Fast replies make me feel like you actually want to talk to me. But slow replies make me think you're talking to someone better.