g0re Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy
←Rate | 12-07-2011 23:33 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got caught jerking off while sniffing my friends sister's panties yesterday.... Wouldn't have been so bad but she was still wearing them at the time. He went f*cking ballistic! Made the rest of her funeral very awkward for both of us.
←Rate | 12-07-2011 23:58 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was so drunk last night when I got to the bottom of the stairs I took off my shoes, coat, top, pants and boxers as slowly as I could. I crept upstairs very quietly, it was only when I got to the top of the stairs I realised I was on the f*cking bus!
←Rate | 12-08-2011 00:03 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Friend 1: Guys my wife wants to have 3 kids cuz of the 3 musketeers. Friend 2: Well my wife wants to have 7 because of the 7 dwarfs. Me: Guys I gotta go... my wife was watching 101 dalmations..
←Rate | 12-08-2011 00:11 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon .I hate it when celebrities get on TV and tell us to donate to some fund… B!tch, you make 12 million a movie & I make $12/hr. You send money..
←Rate | 12-08-2011 00:25 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon .I texted my girlfriend saying who sang 'Party Rock Anthem'. She replied 'LMFAO'. I don't get what's so funny?
←Rate | 12-08-2011 00:46 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear whoever is reading this, you're beautiful and someone out there is crazy about you. So smile. Life is too short to be unhappy.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 01:14 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your such a slut. The only reason you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 19:31 by g0re Comments (1)  


   messageicon 1600's: "Oh Dearest Romeo, I write to inform you I have received your letter and I've been left quite speechless" 2011: " K "
←Rate | 12-08-2011 19:40 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon The hardcore way to eat ramen: 1) Boil water 2) Eat block of ramen 3) Drink boiled water 4) Snort flavored powder 5) Fu*k B!tches.
←Rate | 12-08-2011 20:38 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is that girls in tamp0n commercials dance and laugh? Shouldn't they be revving chainsaws and burn!ng sh!t down?
←Rate | 12-08-2011 20:42 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I sell drugs to fat people. It sounds better than "I work at McDonalds."
←Rate | 12-09-2011 00:07 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon on a scale from 1-10, you're a 9 and I'm the 1 you need...
←Rate | 12-09-2011 00:25 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life And you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 00:38 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon FLOWERS: $50....DINNER: $75....HOTEL: $199....the look on his face when she tells him, "I'm on my period": PRICELESS.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 01:05 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shower = 27 min. 2min. = Wash and rinse body. 25 min. = Reflection and deep thoughts about the origin of life and the universe.
←Rate | 12-09-2011 01:11 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alright, buddy, stop scrolling, its time to wipe that as$
←Rate | 12-09-2011 01:14 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when I get into an argument with my mom and then later I here her talking about it on the phone and I'm just sitting there like.....no that's not how it happened. -__-
←Rate | 12-09-2011 01:41 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you and your gf/bf traded phones for one day, would you still be together when the day was over?
←Rate | 12-09-2011 03:24 by g0re Comments (0)  


   messageicon y r men thinkers and women talkers? because men have two heads and women have four lips.
←Rate | 12-12-2011 20:15 by g0re Comments (0)  




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