Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   hungry like the wolf.

   "checking Facebook while on vacation, what a loser. "

   and Fabio are now friends.

   nobody. NOBODY is perfect. Therefore X is perfect.

   thought of it before you did.

   thinks your tractor's sexy

   very rich

   "trying to find a better ""status""... "

   "an absolute, undoubtable, indescribable vision of awesome. "

   what's for dinner

   "used to have superpowers, but hisher therapist took them away. "

   essential to a balanced diet

   being chased by penguins

   raising the bar

   out joyriding in your car.

   the reason therapists have to get therapy

   ashamed of what he did for a Klondike bar.

   on the verge of a psychotic breakdown

   going on a magic carpet ride

   not the same in person.