bego Funny Status Messages
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My doctor told me to stop drinking today...then he told me to stop laughing.
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04-26-2012 21:51 by BEGO
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I was the kid that would restart the video game whenever I knew I was going to lose.
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05-25-2012 21:54 by BEGO
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Kanye should’ve interrupted Miley’s performance to say that Beyonce’s as$ would look better in those shorts.
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08-30-2013 23:14 by BEGO
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Being single is better than being lied to, cheated on, and disrespected.
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03-04-2012 22:22 by BEGO
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If your status update contains the words, “I know 99% of you won't repost this,” there is a 99% chance you're an idiot.
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07-13-2012 21:15 by BEGO
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Does a prostitute file pregnancy as a work-related accident?
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01-20-2012 20:45 by BEGO
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I hate when I throw my phone onto my bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and kill a cat.
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03-08-2012 21:19 by BEGO
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What if... birds aren't singing, they're just screaming because they're scared of heights?
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05-06-2012 22:05 by BEGO
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Nothing like an old high school crush finding you & friending you on Facebook because he needs cows or some crap for Farmville.
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04-20-2011 17:23 by BEGO
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Fact: If you sneak away to fart loudly in private and get caught by some innocent person walking by, you have to now hate that person.
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04-29-2011 10:34 by BEGO
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How come you can wear jeans everyday and nobody cares... but you wear a shirt twice in one week and you're suddenly homeless?
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06-18-2012 22:21 by BEGO
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If I want to nap for just an hour, I have a big glass of water beforehand. Alarms can be turned off, but a full bladder waits for no one.
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07-09-2012 22:17 by BEGO
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A bad picture of you, and your automatic response is… “Don't put that on Facebook!”
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02-20-2012 21:24 by BEGO
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I blame movies for my high expectations in relationships.
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02-10-2013 22:24 by BEGO
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Be with someone you hide nothing from.
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09-11-2012 14:51 by BEGO
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Mistakes are meant for learning, not repeating!
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09-14-2012 21:25 by BEGO
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Definition of pointless: Jobless people on Facebook updating their status to 'thank God it's the weekend'
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06-10-2011 22:44 by BEGO
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How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
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04-13-2011 23:02 by BEGO
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High schools shouldn't have school zones. If you can't cross the street by the time you're in HS you deserve to get hit.
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05-02-2012 21:09 by BEGO
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Learn to spell, kids. Auto Correct isn't always write.
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05-04-2011 16:42 by BEGO
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