bego Funny Status Messages

   Oh, you're a model? What's your agency? Instagram

   The number one lie in the whole world is...i swear I will love you forever..

   Wouldn't it be great to hear a priest say "been there, done that" in reply to your confessed sins?

   Some people should come with subtitles.

   Time to buy a new car, a bigger TV, a better cell phone and a faster laptop so I’ll finally be happy! (Repeat over and over until you die)

   I'm pretty sure Whoopi Goldberg is Lil Wayne's real mother..

   Always believe a woman when she says: “You don't want to know!”

   Teenage girls: stop making the duck face in all your photos. I don't know who told you it was attractive cause it isn't. You look quite stupid and immature, not to mention ugly. Mostly stupid. Real stupid.

   A Mosquito landed on my friends face.. Easiest decision of my life..

   You need to have an open mind, but not so open that your common sense falls out.

   The wrong relationship will have you feeling more alone than when you were single..

   Today's Facebook forecast: Partly boring, increased drama, and a really good chance of bulls**t.

   When someone texts you “hahahahaha!!” instead of “haha” or “lol”, you know you've done well.

   Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality than any other mammal. Well, that explains Edward.

   “A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie.”

   Hey person calling me from a blocked number, I’m not answering. Ever.

   If the person is more than 25 feet away from you, holding the door is creepy.

   It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.

   To bad you can't photoshop your UGLY personality...

   Don't talk about yourself so much in front of some friends... they do it when you leave