sms Funny Status Messages

   You couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

   APATHY ERROR: Don't bother striking any key.

   He's dead... But look! Hundreds of bright copper kettles, warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up in string! Someone was after a few of this guy's favorite things.

   Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

   <Rages against the vending machine

   Captain's log, stardate 41358.2. I am nailed to the hull.

   Betty White deserves better than to inherit this mess of a planet when we die

   Do beavers even know what they're doing? Or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, "Absolutely not!"