punkie Funny Status Messages

   Whats the difference between a peeping tom and a pickpocket? A pickpocket snatches watches......

   You know you were raised Catholic when you're watching Star Wars and hear "the force be with you" and you respond "and also with you."

   New concept: Thinking of writing a book that will be nowhere near as good as the movie.

   A womans legs are her best friends but sometimes even the best of friends must part.

   I hope, when they die, cartoon characters have to answer for their sins.

   I think long engagements are important because you should really get to know someone before you totally use and degrade them.

   Dear children,stop wondering what I am. I'm a star! You just said it like two seconds ago. Sincerely, Twinkle Twinkle

   Why do they no longer offer drivers ed and sex ed in schools in Mexico? The donkey died....

   How do you make a hormone? Don't pay her.

   Dear razor companies: 4 blades, seriously? If you really wanna impress me you will invent a shaving hatchet!

   What did the duck say to the prostitute? "Put it on my bill"

   What does Barbara Bush and Charlie Sheen have in common? They both like to blow a little dope.

   Just poked about 20 people in about 20 sec's flat... Whew... Blows on finger....

   Confucious say , he who eat jelly bean, fart in living color.

   What do you get when you cross an onion with a donkey? A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes.

   HEY! Dude at the crosswalk, hitting that button repeatedly doesn't make the light change any faster. STOP DOING THAT!

   <--still thinks that chick on the Progressive Insurance commercials is HAWT!

   Monday sounds alot like "Mundane"...just sayin...:(

   There is a wondrous tranquility being in a work restroom stall in an empty restroom. The song of evacuational freedom may ring unbridled and resonant.

   When someone say's "Let's do lunch", what they mean is "I don't care if I ever see your sorry azz again."