onecuwldood Funny Status Messages

   I failed this quiz question... Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the answer is Africa! Who knew?!?!

   The best things in life are free...............So how many kittens do you want?

   Those things on Hooter's menu that they call "boneless chicken wings" are not chicken wings without the bone. You know, I'm not even sure they're chicken! Real wings have bones in them and you get a little messy eating them, that's just the way it is.

   Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?

   The only reason a great many American families don't own an elephant is that they never been offered an elephant for a dollar down and easy weekly payments.

   Note to self: That was way to much beer!

   I went to my acupuncturist today. He told me to take two thumbtacks and call him in the morning.

   I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

   This copy of Windows is not genuine... Dang, I'll never find that guy that sold me Windows from the trunk of his car... He seemed legit. Lesson learned.

   I will be hosting the next meeting of the Somerset Time Travel club. It will be held Wednesday of last week. We will be serving breakfast for supper. Please plan to attend! We really missed you next week.

   I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

   Someone asked me for my email address today, I don't know, I never email myself!!!

   Never pick a fight with an ugly person;........They've got nothing to lose.

   If these walls could talk, I'd move out because having talking walls would a little freaky...

   "Vegetarian" is an old Indian word for "bad hunter."

   I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

   WOW! Can you believe Justin Bieber is 17 today, seems like just yesterday she was just a little girl playing in her room with her karaoke machine. Next thing you know she'll find a nice guy and get married and start having kids of her own.

   The current administration is finally getting through to people. I can not count how many people I saw going "Green" yesterday! These are truly exciting days!!!

   If you're attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler!

   I don't care what people say, Little Bunny Foo Foo was a bully to field mice!!!