Jackbrass Funny Status Messages

   I love how my laptopshasta a warning that says You should change your battery or switch to outlet power immediately to keep from losing your work. Lol "work". I wish I got paid to watch porn..

   Worst feeling ever : taking a sh!t in a public bathroom and getting your a$$hole splashed with toilet water.

   My girlfriend got mad at me because I didn't like her Facebook status 30 minutes after she posted it. It's not like I have a magical Facebook device on me at all times. Sent via safari for iPhone.

   The only rime I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish sendkng a text.

   Hey people in cavilers, you have a 4 cylinder! I have an 8, stop trying to race me.....

   You can't spell slaughter without laughter!

   If you think my wife is hot you should see my girlfriend.

   Eating p*ssy is like driving a car, got to be careful or you'll hit the a**hole ahead of you.

   The real meanings of Facebook event RSVP's yes= most likely going but might bail last second, No= your lame why would I go somewhere with you, maybe= I'm not going but I'm too much of a pu$$ to say no.

   Some play hard to get, I play hard to want.