J.D. Funny Status Messages

   I would wish my father a Happy Father's Day on Facebook but I blocked him

   A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he's finished.

   Hummmmmmm Chocolate - (Homer Voice)

   RIP 2012 (2012-2012)

   Facebook = Poor mans therapist...

   You lost your phone because it was on silent? That's too bad. If you liked it then you should've put a ring on it.

   Don't forget Comic Relief this year. Just £5 can help a disabled African learn the difference between an intruder and his f**king girlfriend

   I'm going to take a shot for every "like" I get on this status....then again....I'm taking shots whether you b*stards like it or not.

   The longest distance in the world is from Monday morning to Friday afternoon.

   Dear God, Happy Father's Day.

   My girlfriend asked me if I see myself having kids...I told her to stop asking me childish questions.

   If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape!

   when I am bored, I like to park on the side of the freeway and stick a blow dryer out the window and watch the cars slam on their brakes

   There's more to Alcohol than life!!!

   Whoever let women in the army, I salute you. Women on their period, with a gun... Unstoppable!

   bored? send a text to a random number that says "I hid the body" what's next boss?

   You have to get along with everybody. You're out-numbered.

   Our economy would probably be much better if people only spent less time using facebook during work hours!!!

   Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it. :p

   Saw a bird poo on a Smart car. Totaled it.